mara
05-30-2010, 04:21 PM
Hello there! I'm new to the forum, and I would like to share what I think about stuttering.
I think we have a really crappy problem, and we often get laughed at and commiserated by the people we interact with every day. I stutter since I was 3 and I had my great deal of problems related to it during the years. Well, you know what? I have enough!!!! I spent most of my life commiserating myself for stuttering, and I thought my life could be much better if I just could speak fluently. Well, what if I could make my life better just by thinking a little bit higher of myself and stop caring about what other people think about me? I believe stuttering doesn't really exist: it is all in our heads. How can we explain then periods in which we're almost perfectly fluent and others in which we can't even say our name? I noticed that good periods in which I almost never stuttered were periods in which I was most self-confident and I cared less about other people's approval. Bad times are normally the ones in which I feel I'm not worth anything and hence I think all the world thinks I'm not enough pretty/funny/smart/... So I think the first step is really to think more positive about ourselves. Yeah, I know, it's not easy, I'm trying myself right now (and it's one of the bad periods!). But seriously, why do we have to be afraid of asking for some bread to the baker at the corner? Is he going to kill us? Nope. Worst case scenario, he'll look at us in a funny way if we start stuttering and he'll smile. Well, if he does, it means he's not that brilliant and surely he's not a better person than we are. So, why being afraid to begin with? Second: why should we care about what the baker thinks? Anybody can answer me this?:confused:
What I'm trying to do, although it is costing me a grat deal of effort, is not escaping potentially "dangerous" situations for my stuttering. I go buy cigarettes at the counter, I say my opinion in discussions with my friends and colleagues, I ask for information in the street and I order food at the restaurant (all things I didn't do before). Of course, sometimes I wasn't as fluent as I wanted to be and right after I felt discouraged and sad. But then, at least I tried, and it is going to be better the next time. My next big obstacles to overcome are presentations in public (but I'll try tomorrow:eek:) and phone calls: I'm working on it!
You know what, I realized I am missing things of life that are very pleasant for people who don't stutter. I stress out before going to a party because people might ask me my name or what I do for a living (and then it will take me a minute to say that I am a PhD student), I shut up during conversations because I'm afraid I'll stutter, I panic before presenting a paper I've written... Is this life? Nope. If we could just focus our attention on something else that our stuttering we would realize there are so many things on which to concentrate our energies more constructively! What I want to achieve is to stop thinking about stuttering every moment of my life. I want to get rid of this thought because I see that when I don't think about it I don't stutter!
I think I'll need the help of a psychologist to do this, but I see my positivity and willingness to make the effort as a good first step.;)
I'll keep you posted on my progress!!
Till then, cheers!:D
I think we have a really crappy problem, and we often get laughed at and commiserated by the people we interact with every day. I stutter since I was 3 and I had my great deal of problems related to it during the years. Well, you know what? I have enough!!!! I spent most of my life commiserating myself for stuttering, and I thought my life could be much better if I just could speak fluently. Well, what if I could make my life better just by thinking a little bit higher of myself and stop caring about what other people think about me? I believe stuttering doesn't really exist: it is all in our heads. How can we explain then periods in which we're almost perfectly fluent and others in which we can't even say our name? I noticed that good periods in which I almost never stuttered were periods in which I was most self-confident and I cared less about other people's approval. Bad times are normally the ones in which I feel I'm not worth anything and hence I think all the world thinks I'm not enough pretty/funny/smart/... So I think the first step is really to think more positive about ourselves. Yeah, I know, it's not easy, I'm trying myself right now (and it's one of the bad periods!). But seriously, why do we have to be afraid of asking for some bread to the baker at the corner? Is he going to kill us? Nope. Worst case scenario, he'll look at us in a funny way if we start stuttering and he'll smile. Well, if he does, it means he's not that brilliant and surely he's not a better person than we are. So, why being afraid to begin with? Second: why should we care about what the baker thinks? Anybody can answer me this?:confused:
What I'm trying to do, although it is costing me a grat deal of effort, is not escaping potentially "dangerous" situations for my stuttering. I go buy cigarettes at the counter, I say my opinion in discussions with my friends and colleagues, I ask for information in the street and I order food at the restaurant (all things I didn't do before). Of course, sometimes I wasn't as fluent as I wanted to be and right after I felt discouraged and sad. But then, at least I tried, and it is going to be better the next time. My next big obstacles to overcome are presentations in public (but I'll try tomorrow:eek:) and phone calls: I'm working on it!
You know what, I realized I am missing things of life that are very pleasant for people who don't stutter. I stress out before going to a party because people might ask me my name or what I do for a living (and then it will take me a minute to say that I am a PhD student), I shut up during conversations because I'm afraid I'll stutter, I panic before presenting a paper I've written... Is this life? Nope. If we could just focus our attention on something else that our stuttering we would realize there are so many things on which to concentrate our energies more constructively! What I want to achieve is to stop thinking about stuttering every moment of my life. I want to get rid of this thought because I see that when I don't think about it I don't stutter!
I think I'll need the help of a psychologist to do this, but I see my positivity and willingness to make the effort as a good first step.;)
I'll keep you posted on my progress!!
Till then, cheers!:D