Changing your own perspective on stammering.

[Mr Fingers]

Hello, not been here for a while.

A little about me. I would get people to buy my things, make my phone calls & generally i'd avoid talking. It wasn't until one night looking at the universe (cheesy, i know) that i realized how insignificant we all are & how short life is.

I'm not going to sit on my & moan about how stammering is ruining my life, because it's not, i'm the one doing that. I can either sit here typing about how bad my life is OR i can do something about it.

I'm not waiting for some magical drug to come on the market or using a speech device, i'm not putting my life on hold for no one or nothing.

I used to say i want to go travelling but i can't because of my speech, looking back i'm ashamed for saying that.

You get ONE life, don't waste it by telling yourself you can't do anything because you take longer. No one cares about you, or your speech, but you care about these people & how you look to them. Why? Why should we care?

I'm not someone with a well paid job or 100s of friends & money to burn so i know how hard it is, but you need to get in the state of mind that you need to change, you need to stop avoiding, because once you get past that it'll open up a whole new life.

[Mr Fingers]

Never mind, all the positive posts never get replies.

See you around.

[Recoda]

Good post
"you need to stop avoiding, because once you get past that it'll open up a whole new life."
Thats exactly what i am trying to do , its hard but its really worth it.

[Mr Fingers]

Good post
"you need to stop avoiding, because once you get past that it'll open up a whole new life."
Thats exactly what i am trying to do , its hard but its really worth it.

Hi,

Yes. keep at it. I'm trying hard too.

I spent too much time sitting around thinking the world would come to me & somehow my speech would get better by talking every now & then.

[Thomkatt]

It is so important for us to speak if we feel like it and never avoid. By saying nothing, we are just hurting ourselves. If people react to our stuttering, who cares just keep talking or mock them back lol. Most of us have been quiet much too long. And yes waiting for a pill or a device is futile.

[Sarah11085]

Hello, not been here for a while.

A little about me. I would get people to buy my things, make my phone calls & generally i'd avoid talking. It wasn't until one night looking at the universe (cheesy, i know) that i realized how insignificant we all are & how short life is.

I'm not going to sit on my & moan about how stammering is ruining my life, because it's not, i'm the one doing that. I can either sit here typing about how bad my life is OR i can do something about it.

I'm not waiting for some magical drug to come on the market or using a speech device, i'm not putting my life on hold for no one or nothing.

I used to say i want to go travelling but i can't because of my speech, looking back i'm ashamed for saying that.

You get ONE life, don't waste it by telling yourself you can't do anything because you take longer. No one cares about you, or your speech, but you care about these people & how you look to them. Why? Why should we care?

I'm not someone with a well paid job or 100s of friends & money to burn so i know how hard it is, but you need to get in the state of mind that you need to change, you need to stop avoiding, because once you get past that it'll open up a whole new life.

I agree with what you! Keep up the great work! A lot of people don't care if you stutter. They care about the type of person you are.

[howeee]

Hello, not been here for a while.

A little about me. I would get people to buy my things, make my phone calls & generally i'd avoid talking. It wasn't until one night looking at the universe (cheesy, i know) that i realized how insignificant we all are & how short life is.

I'm not going to sit on my & moan about how stammering is ruining my life, because it's not, i'm the one doing that. I can either sit here typing about how bad my life is OR i can do something about it.

I'm not waiting for some magical drug to come on the market or using a speech device, i'm not putting my life on hold for no one or nothing.

I used to say i want to go travelling but i can't because of my speech, looking back i'm ashamed for saying that.

You get ONE life, don't waste it by telling yourself you can't do anything because you take longer. No one cares about you, or your speech, but you care about these people & how you look to them. Why? Why should we care?

I'm not someone with a well paid job or 100s of friends & money to burn so i know how hard it is, but you need to get in the state of mind that you need to change, you need to stop avoiding, because once you get past that it'll open up a whole new life.

Actually traveling to a country where you dont know the language is a god send lol. They dont expect you to talk anyway lol, I used to use this phrase book when I was in Russia, all I had to do was point to the phrase in the book lol.

[Violet]

completely agree! :cool:

[fighter]

yep
i m moderate to severly stutter. But somehow i can overcome myself. Sometimes not.
I always find my clues for stuttering. I notice that when i m thinking about an issue deeply i got stuck.
When my esteem goes down i stutter. When i lose confidence i stutter.
I begin investigating. I m searcing for something in which i can be specialized.
I took some addictions which i like most. Dont worry its not a drug. I start blogging, reading text deeply, learning pc applications.
Somehow i become expertise on those.
My point is to make busy urself wht u lyk. It wil help you controlling imagination.

[marktb68]

There was a great article written by "Hasan" from Neurosemantics for stuttering some time ago which, for me, struck a chord. Most PWS are so self-absorbed and self-centered that we think we are the center of everything. The hard truth is that we aren't and most people don't care if we are fluent or not. WE CARE. We THINK other people care but people have so much going in their own lives, why would they give our speech a second thought?

In a way. we are stuck in a child-like viewing of the world. Everything revolves around ME!! That's how children are. Nothing else exists but their attention to self. If you are constantly thinking, "what are they thinking about me?', get over yourself. The world doesn't revolve around your speech impediment. Do you honestly think that when that person goes home he/she is still thinking about YOU?

I still struggle with "me, me, me" thinking and I tend to take things very personally, as most PWS do. The truth is I am not the center of everyone's life. Either are you.

Mark

[Mr Fingers]

Thanks all above, very interesting & i agree with all of the views. :)

Another thing i remember was when i was having therapy, we'd go out & the therapist would tell me to ask someone for something & i would, i'd say it fluently & feel great about myself, but then i learned this was unnatural. It has never been about speaking fluently because we have stutters, we are not fluent. By speaking fluently i was avoiding the REAL me & giving false hope.

What i needed to do was ask for things in shops & try NOT to speak fluently which sounds weird but i think this is true.

[Dinasaur]

wow, thats so true. i can't believe i never thought of that.
stutters are so worried about what other people think of them...that impacts our whole lives. because WE'RE afraid of stepping our of our little bubbles, and WE'RE afraid of feeling uncomfortable.
we think too much about ourselves and try to protect ourselves too much.

do you guys really think though, that non stutterers dont care about our stuttering as much as we do? i mean, i understand that to some extent, we make our problem of stuttering larger than life, thinking that it's the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone, but what about other people? are they as paranoid everytime we stutter? what's your opinion?

[Mr Fingers]

wow, thats so true. i can't believe i never thought of that.
stutters are so worried about what other people think of them...that impacts our whole lives. because WE'RE afraid of stepping our of our little bubbles, and WE'RE afraid of feeling uncomfortable.
we think too much about ourselves and try to protect ourselves too much.

do you guys really think though, that non stutterers dont care about our stuttering as much as we do? i mean, i understand that to some extent, we make our problem of stuttering larger than life, thinking that it's the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone, but what about other people? are they as paranoid everytime we stutter? what's your opinion?

Everyone has their own little thing they don't like & that might make them paranoid. i.e i know someone who thinks they can't pronounce certain words so if ever they need to say it, they'll get really nervous like we do. Another person i know hates speaking in public place like a bank. Both of these people are non stutterers.

Even without speech, people may be paranoid of being skinny, fat, may think their hairstyle looks odd, clothes don't match etc.

I was in a shop & i was waiting for the worker to come out to assist me with a part i needed, i knew she was young & fairly pretty which makes it a bit more uncomfortable (am i the only one with this lol?) so when this girl came out she asked me what i wanted & i'm pretty sure she had some sort of speech impediment.

So you never know what's going on with anybody. Someone might be as confident star but hen they get home they may lead a miserable life.

[Asgb]

Good job Mr. Fingers, I'm glad that more people are now realizing this.
we can't waste our life worrying of what others think of us, Let's just try to be the best we can, without letting other people's thoughts affect us. If we want to speak fluently, lets try the best we can, without worrying of what other people may think of us. If someone likes us, great. If someone doesn't like us, don't worry about it. God bless.

[amey]

Thanks all above, very interesting & i agree with all of the views. :)

Another thing i remember was when i was having therapy, we'd go out & the therapist would tell me to ask someone for something & i would, i'd say it fluently & feel great about myself, but then i learned this was unnatural. It has never been about speaking fluently because we have stutters, we are not fluent. By speaking fluently i was avoiding the REAL me & giving false hope.

What i needed to do was ask for things in shops & try NOT to speak fluently which sounds weird but i think this is true.

YES!!We must be willing to show our stuttering to overcome the fear. It is the only way out of the crazy psychological situation that we find ourselves in! Speak fluently, we feel good...Stutter, we feel bad! We are people who stutter, that is what we do, we STUTTER! :) -- you got it right with this post, IMO. Keep it up!

[Thomkatt]

I agree. It seems like when I try to be completely fluent, I feel like I'm about 2 feet tall.