Hardest Thing I've had to deal with.

[Jp72394]

This is one of the hardest things about stuttering...in 7th and 8th grade, I was a pretty talkative, popular guy, had tons of girlfriends in both those years, never had a fear of presentations. I took stuttering classes, but for the most part, it seemed that my stuttering was about gone, or at least barely noticeable. I'd managed to set up a good reputation for myself.

Then...the summer before High School, my stuttering got very bad. It got really horrible for some reason, and entering High School, the beginning of the year wasn't so bad, I still managed to charm some girls, but once my stuttering was made the butt of the joke, those girls then saw me as if I was mentally handicapped or something. I became real quiet in class in order to keep the attention off me when the kids were making jokes, and I became real withdrawn as well.

That makes desensitizing hard. When you've always been that way, and have to always undergo that treatment, desensitizing is not as hard, because you learn to deal to it...but this is cruel. You already have a good reputation, and its better to just keep quiet to not harm that reputation that you do have, than to have all those people that used to think "thats a cool dude", go to think "Is that dude stupid or something?"

Your thoughts?

[stewartburn]

I wish I could reply

[stewartburn]

(Sorry if my first reply got posted; I was just seeing if I could post yet.)

Anyway, almost the exact same story for me man. I was cool, an extrovert, had girlfriends and all. Then something changed, and I can pinpoint it to the Christmas of grade 7. I became self-conscious or something. Since then I haven't been the same person. I'm 21 now, but very much an introvert unless I'm with my friends. I think it had to do with puberty or something.

High school was hard. Those were dark times. I'd purposefully not do homework and presentations so that I didn't have to stutter an answer and could just say "I don't know" or something. I've taken a lot of classes I had no interest in and skipped a lot of classes I would have liked to join because of my speech. Only now am I throwing myself into the fire--and into my dream career--as a journalist. Yep, I'm a sports writer for a local paper and have to interview people and talk on the phone multiple times a day. It doesn't get easier...but you just have to plow through life and not give a flying F what people think of you. Just hope that people have the same compassion that you have, and if they don't, screw them. It's your life.

[amey]

I am feeling for you and you are NOT alone, I promise you.-- You are right, this situation is very, very hard. It is a decision that all of us stutterers have to make at one point. Do I hide it, or come out.-- Desensitization can be one of the hardest things you will ever do, but it will be one of the most rewarding. --- Your reputation will not be changed because of this. You still possess the same qualities as before with just a new one added.-- I believe a person can be a DIGNIFIED stutterer. Keep your eye contact and own the stuttering. that is dignity, that is strength.--- I bet you that people know you stutter more than you think they do. The goal here is to overcome YOURSELF, and the rest will follow. Good luck and my heart is with you. <3 amey

[amey]

JP::: Do you have anyone helping/teaching you with the desensitization process?? What are you doing and/or what is your plan??? Let me know if you need some advice on this. sincerely, amey

[Jp72394]

Yeah, you're right about that, but it seems I might have to wait a little longer to get through the desensitizing process, for now, i'm just trying to go through the 3 years left of hell, hoping that I keep the will to live bright, and not be put in any classes with any of those a-holes from last year. God will guide you in the end, but once I get out of hell, and go to a new place with different people, then things will probably get much easier.