Do you let others finish your sentences when you are stuck??

[happy7117]

Do you let others finish your sentences when
you are stuck?? Why or why not???

People say it's not right to
finish a stutterers sentence--
but i highly disagree..the stutterer
feels total desperation to get
the word out, and the word is
on the tip of the toung but it just
won't come out!!

That happens to me alot- I
may be going along fine, i come
to a word- and i get stuck on it--
and it's literaly on the tip, of
my toung- and I can visualy see
it coming out.. and at that exact
moment that i get stuck, that
someone who should not be
interupting has to be patient
and not help the stuttering-
while the stutterer is taking
what seems forever to say a
word which he can see in his
head but just can't spit out!!

Personaly if i get stuck on a
word that I feel I can say in
my mind, but not physicaly, I
would love the listener to
help me out!!

My point-

I would much rather have a
listener help me out if I get
stuck on a word or thought,
then have them wait what
seems like eternity for me to
spit out a word!!

And no, to me it's not interrupting--
for a stuttering person,
one who helps by filling in a word or
couple words one is stuck on could
be very positive and helpfull..it should
not seem rude or mean for a listener to
help a stutter with what he wants
to say!!

But on the other hand, if a regular
person who does not stutter can
get his point across easily without
trouble, he should not be interupted!!!

So in other words listening
to a stutterer can be just as
nice as listening to a non-
stutterer as long as the person
knows that interupting can
be helpfull for those who are
having trouble talking!!

If the stutterer would like
the listener to interrupt to
help him with words he has
in his mind but cannot physicly
say, I say help him-- but the
stutterer should let the listener
know if he would like to be helped
beforehand if he gets stuck..

Like, before meeting someone
for the first time say something
like "I stutter and lots of words
I get stuck on I can visualize saying
them right in my mind but they
wont come from my mouth- so i
would appreciate it if you see me
having obvious trouble, instead of
waiting quietly and patiently, feel
free to help me out by filling in my
words or just anticiapte what I am
trying to say, and answer me based
on what you know I am trying to say--
it takes the frusteration off me- and
keeps the conversation going..

[Grambo]

Yes, it is a relief when listeners help us out, but sometimes they can anticipate incorrectly

[happy7117]

Yes, it is a relief when listeners help us out, but sometimes they can anticipate incorrectly

I've never really thought about if a
listener anticipated wrongly what the
stutterer was trying to say-- I've never
had that happen--

Well basicaly if a listener can sort
of predict what the stutterer is trying to
say by what he already is saying--maybe
the listener can help--

I'm not saying for a listener to read
a stutterers mind cause that's not possible!!,
but if a listener can get the jits of what
the stutterer is trying to get across- he or she can
be ready to jump in when a stutter has trouble!!

[Grambo]

It's remarkable to realise how much pressure we go through - speaking - by the amount of relief we feel when we are helped out.
When I first started writing E mails, I felt pressured to get information i wrote completely accurate - somewhere there seems to be a link to responsibility and conscience - are we overcautious people ?

[happy7117]

It's remarkable to realise how much pressure we go through - speaking - by the amount of relief we feel when we are helped out.
When I first started writing E mails, I felt pressured to get information i wrote completely accurate - somewhere there seems to be a link to responsibility and conscience - are we overcautious people ?

Wow -that's a little to deep for me--I'm not sure
how to respond--!!!

I think when we send emails we would like to be completely accurate because verbally we would
be unable to say what we would like to someone
so we say it thorughly and completely in emails!!

Also the more we say in emails, the less we
would have to ask what we wrote in our emails to another person! It would be said in our emails what
we wanted to ask the person!

[dave]

Over cautious? I'm about as absent minded as they get.

I would rather struggle on one word for 8 hours than have someone finish my sentence.

When people finish my sentence, whether it is what I wanted to say or not, I feel tantamount to a dog nagging its owner.

[Grambo]

Yes, there is that side to it
I feel relieved - that I don't have to try and say the word again

[dave]

I usually just ignore people and keep talking.

[Standingtall]

I do let my wife and a few friends to finish my sentences for me, but I try my best to finish my own sentence with othe people. They may correctly finish it, but I make it an habit to finish my own anyway. I sometimes find I want to do the same with other people that stutter and finish their sentences too. I really have to fight the urge to jump in. I sometimes do that to people that don't stutter, when I can see their train of though and I interrupt them by say, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[johnjohn]

Its a huge relief when someone finishes my sentences for me!!! I do not mind when some finishes my sentences. It pisses me off when someone tells me to take a deep breathe. If I could breathe properly when talking, i would not be stuttering!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm 30 years old, and to this day my mom is still telling me just breathe.

[happy7117]

Its a huge relief when someone finishes my sentences for me!!! I do not mind when some finishes my sentences. It pisses me off when someone tells me to take a deep breathe. If I could breathe properly when talking, i would not be stuttering!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm 30 years old, and to this day my mom is still telling me just breathe.

I also like it when people finish my sentences---
it takes so much pressure and struggle off me
if people help me with what I am trying to say!!

One thing I don't like is when people are supposed to wait patiently for a stutterer to finish when the
stutterer clearly knows he is unable to finish
because he is struggling so much...and the person waiting patiently has things to do--

Even if the listener waits for the longest
time for a stutterer to spit out whatever,
it still not be understood by the listener!!!

A listener who has to be patient with a stutterer
must be a terrible humiliating thing-- the listener
is probably pretending to listen to be nice not understanding a single thing the stutterer is saying...

And thats very hurtfull to a stutterer!!!!!

If a listener helps stutterers in what they are trying to say, it means they want to make it easier
for the stutterer- helping a stutterer by finishing
a stutterers sentence means the listener is being
attentive and cares what the stutterer has to say,
and for stutterers we need all the support we
can get from others we can get!!

When a listener does not finish and waits patiently
for a stutterer, the stutter gets nervous because
he knows the listener is not knowing what the
stutterer is trying to say!!!!

And the stuttererer also is annoyed when he knows
this person is having to wait for you to spit it out---

Listeners should be able to help stutterers--it's
more uncomfortable for listeners to wait patiently for a stutterer--

For fluent ones who have no trouble, it's
respectable not to finish others sentences..

But for stutterers who have lot's of trouble,
it's best listeners help him or her out-- because
speaking is not as easy for stutterers-----

It's called active listening!!!

[happy7117]

Over cautious? I'm about as absent minded as they get.

I would rather struggle on one word for 8 hours than have someone finish my sentence.

When people finish my sentence, whether it is what I wanted to say or not, I feel tantamount to a dog nagging its owner.

8 hours would be a nasty scenario- but
I appreciate people helping me by finishing,
because I know they want to help me get
my point across when I know I verbaly can't!!

Good Look!!

[bignick]

I dont really mind if my family finish my sentences for me, but if its someone I dont know and they do it tends to annoy me a bit as they tend to say the wrong words.
I know people are trying to help, but sometimes its best for them to keep eye contact while I stutter until I finish my sentence.
But hey, everyone is different and its a good job as it would be a very boring existence.

[Jeff99]

how can people finishing of ur words for us be a good thing it makes u feel less than them i would rather speak for myself. what we need to understand that by letting people finish things for us we are giving our right to speak away to the other person we have as muc right to speak as anyone u shouldn't feel like u need them to jump in and help.

[happy7117]

how can people finishing of ur words for us be a good thing it makes u feel less than them i would rather speak for myself. what we need to understand that by letting people finish things for us we are giving our right to speak away to the other person we have as muc right to speak as anyone u shouldn't feel like u need them to jump in and help.

Good opinions-- but a stutterer who would like to speak for himself without the help of others might feel
so frusterated like me in not being able to spit out
what I would like to..in my opinion if I stutter
nastily in which I do unfortanutly, having others
just wait for me stutter terribly just makes me feel
uncomfortable KNOWING THEY HAVE TO WAIT FOR
ME, and PUTS EXTREME PRESSURE ON ME knowing
I just can't say it, I would rather have
somebody help me with what I am trying to
say then having to wait and wait for something
that I just can't do--

I guess those that stutter kinda- they don't want to be helped because they have little or no trouble
because they stutter litely--but those who are heavy like me should be able to accept help from others--
because sometimes we just are unable to speak
for ourselves because we stutter so horribly!

Like me- I stutter heavily and when others have to wait for me to spit out something for which I know I can't, I feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable, and my
urgency to say the word just increases because I know they are waiting for me to say the word
which I can't - and they just sit or stand there pretendng to listen not understanding anything!!

[Jeff99]

Good opinions-- but a stutterer who would like to speak for himself without the help of others might feel
so frusterated like me in not being able to spit out
what I would like to..in my opinion if I stutter
nastily in which I do unfortanutly, having others
just wait for me stutter terribly just makes me feel
uncomfortable KNOWING THEY HAVE TO WAIT FOR
ME, and PUTS EXTREME PRESSURE ON ME knowing
I just can't say it, I would rather have
somebody help me with what I am trying to
say then having to wait and wait for something
that I just can't do--

I guess those that stutter kinda- they don't want to be helped because they have little or no trouble
because they stutter litely--but those who are heavy like me should be able to accept help from others--
because sometimes we just are unable to speak
for ourselves because we stutter so horribly!

Like me- I stutter heavily and when others have to wait for me to spit out something for which I know I can't, I feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable, and my
urgency to say the word just increases because I know they are waiting for me to say the word
which I can't - and they just sit or stand there pretendng to listen not understanding anything!!

i understand you i used to stutter really really bad look u seem to really hate ur stutter well i guess we all do but that why we need to take charge have our own voice. look if you stutter really bad i can understand how u feel i felt the same way but there is help out there it will give u a life u have only dreamed of i'm not saying stuttering can be cured because it can't but what i'm saying is that it can be controlled rather than letting it control u. there are so many options for us now day there is no reason we have to feel that same the pressure that fear anymore if we just put ourselves out there take that first step take charge of our life we can overcome this.

[happy7117]

i understand you i used to stutter really really bad look u seem to really hate ur stutter well i guess we all do but that why we need to take charge have our own voice. look if you stutter really bad i can understand how u feel i felt the same way but there is help out there it will give u a life u have only dreamed of i'm not saying stuttering can be cured because it can't but what i'm saying is that it can be controlled rather than letting it control u. there are so many options for us now day there is no reason we have to feel that same the pressure that fear anymore if we just put ourselves out there take that first step take charge of our life we can overcome this.

The reason I hate my stutter so much
is because I would love to be a very chatty outspoken person, and the fact I can't because of the stutter just makes me hate it more!!

I don't see anything positive in stuttering badly!!
Writing has helped me get positve about myself,
but still-speaking would be so much funner!!

I'm still looking for treatment optins that
would help!! Money is very tight though- and
that just intensifies the the problem..treatment
costs money, and if one does not have enough
money to get good stuttering treatment- they are in trouble--!!

[Standingtall]

Hate to butt in, but I like to join your conversations. I was pretty bad in my teens and I didn't mind other people throwing in the odd word. I found that I didn't stutter on that word after someone else says it. Today, I finish my own sentences, even if the person guess's right on the word, I'm having problems saying. It is a pride thing.

The way I see it, most people wants to help each other and if it is just throwing in the odd word in, what is the harm in that. I tend to do the same when another person is having problems on a word. But what a sight we make, when we both have problems saying that word. What do you guys think.

[claragazza]

I have very mixed feelings about people finishing my sentences. I hate interruptions. Because of how much I stutter people have the temptation to interrupt me at any word, and pretending to help me to finish my sentence is one of their favourite way, I feel. This irritates me a lot, all the more as they often do not finish it the way I want, and I rarely have the courage to rectify.
On the other hand, I like more persons that help me to really finish a sentence (that is, when it has become obvious what I want to say), or that help me only for one word, if this is done kindly. But then only at the end of a sentence.

[Standingtall]

Think about this. What I do, I do finish my own sentences, and when I have a block on a word, the person may guess right word. I repeat that word and finish the sentence. Many times I have told people, No, when they guess the wrong word. That may sound arrogant, but it may help with the courage. What do you think?

[bignick]

It happened to me yesterday in work, a bloke came over and asked me about a problem with his printer, I started talking and wasnt even stuttering when he finished the sentence. I said to him abruptly, IF YOU LET ME FINISH MY SENTENCE and finished it off with the correct ending. It all depends on what kind of mood I am in if I let it go over my head or not and yesterday I didnt and got a few looks of the people who I sit by as I am normally a very calm person.

[claragazza]

Well, I do not have really problems with person sincerely wanting to help but picking the wrong word (although, in such a case, I prefer to nod "no" rather than say it because in such stressful situation just saying "no" would take me ages).
What I dislike are people ending sentences far from being finished, just for the sake of avoiding to have to stand my stutter. Normally, such people would continue their speech after having "finished my sentence", hence not leaving me the ability to rectify or say anything.

[happy7117]

I have very mixed feelings about people finishing my sentences. I hate interruptions. Because of how much I stutter people have the temptation to interrupt me at any word, and pretending to help me to finish my sentence is one of their favourite way, I feel. This irritates me a lot, all the more as they often do not finish it the way I want, and I rarely have the courage to rectify.
On the other hand, I like more persons that help me to really finish a sentence (that is, when it has become obvious what I want to say), or that help me only for one word, if this is done kindly. But then only at the end of a sentence.

That's exactly the way I could never word it!!
When I know the exact word I am trying to say
and it is fairly easy to guess from what the content
is- that's when I would want help---

And when I say finish a sentence, I mean-- just answer me if you know what I'm trying to ask
but am having a difficult time asking it??

A good example could be if I asked
the following:::


"How are you d-d-d-d------d-d-d-??

It's very obvious I am trying to ask "How are
you doing??" based on the content on what I am saying...

In the case I should get jammed on the word
"doing" as in the above example--I would
appreciate it if someone would reply "doing
OK, or fine, or however they are today"..
so as to end the struggle I am having on a
single word, and to keep the chit-chat going....
because they know the word I am trying to say--
but they do not say anything to help me because it would be thought of as rude--- BUT IT'S NOT.
When it's clear I am struggling on a obvious question--
it would be good for people to sort of listen
to what I am saying- and if I get stuck on a word
I just can't get out--I would rather have them
just answer to what I am trying to say judging
by what I am trying to ask-instead of
waiting for me to finish in my obvious struggle to say something....

I believe it's called ACTIVE LISTENING--

If I stutter on something that is very obvious
to guess- it's good to jump in and help me so I can
stop struggling

If the contnet of what I am saying is not so
obvious to guess---well then ask to help the
person...

Which brings me to a brand new topic I can
start..!

[happy7117]

Think about this. What I do, I do finish my own sentences, and when I have a block on a word, the person may guess right word. I repeat that word and finish the sentence. Many times I have told people, No, when they guess the wrong word. That may sound arrogant, but it may help with the courage. What do you think?


Does not sound arrogant to me!! It sounds like the
person is trying to help which is great, but
simply guessed the word wrong--have the person
continue to try and help you with what you are trying to say---

A stutter person shold never have to struggle
for the longest time---

Having some trouble talking is one thing-- but having massive frusteration while talking is a whole different ball game ;)

[happy7117]

It happened to me yesterday in work, a bloke came over and asked me about a problem with his printer, I started talking and wasnt even stuttering when he finished the sentence. I said to him abruptly, IF YOU LET ME FINISH MY SENTENCE and finished it off with the correct ending. It all depends on what kind of mood I am in if I let it go over my head or not and yesterday I didnt and got a few looks of the people who I sit by as I am normally a very calm person.

In that case where you were perfectly fluent-
it was rude for the person to interupt..
Good for you for telling off the prick

[happy7117]

Well, I do not have really problems with person sincerely wanting to help but picking the wrong word (although, in such a case, I prefer to nod "no" rather than say it because in such stressful situation just saying "no" would take me ages).
What I dislike are people ending sentences far from being finished, just for the sake of avoiding to have to stand my stutter. Normally, such people would continue their speech after having "finished my sentence", hence not leaving me the ability to rectify or say anything.

In all honesty, I hate it when people
have to stand my stutter..it makes me
uncomfortable that they have to hear
such awkwardness in my speech--and I hate
to know they have to hear it--

[happy7117]

If someone tries to finish my sentences I usually hurt them very bad . . . A couple of times I med people who tried as well. I think I have only “deleted” one or two!!! :D

A little extreme-- but it proves you take nothing from nobody!

[claragazza]

In the case I should get jammed on the word
"doing" as in the above example--I would
appreciate it if someone would reply "doing
OK, or fine, or however they are today"..
so as to end the struggle I am having on a
single word, and to keep the chit-chat going....
because they know the word I am trying to say--
but they do not say anything to help me because it would be thought of as rude--- BUT IT'S NOT.


I completely agree with you: interrupting in the middle of a sentence is rude, but help to get out of a block on an obvious word is not, on the opposite, it is kindness.

I would even say that, actually, it is not helping in such a case which is rude. And I am personaly convinced that there are even some idiots on this earth that do it on purpose.

A real life example: last week I had to tell to two colleagues that I had left the key of the meeting room to our secretary, by the name of "Vanessa". While saying "I gave the key to Vanessa", I completely blocked on the final "ssa".
At the place I was bocked, it was already abundantly clear what I meant.
But the two guys let me struggle with this completely alone, which must have taken me at least 2 minutes since I first tried several times to force the syllable out, then tried two times to restart the word without more success with its last sound, and then could only do it by starting over the whole sentence, but living a "nightmare" to pronounce each syllable.

In such cases, I don't think that not helping was politeness (even misplaced politeness), but voluntary rudeness.

[claragazza]

In all honesty, I hate it when people
have to stand my stutter..it makes me
uncomfortable that they have to hear
such awkwardness in my speech--and I hate
to know they have to hear it--

I do not like when people have to listen to me speak either. I know that it is not pleasant to see or listen to, and that it requires a lot of attention that they could easily do without.
But I do not think that this is sufficient reason for my interlocutors to make me see it rudely. I feel humiliated enough by my stutter, and there is no need for them to add more to it.

[happy7117]

I completely agree with you: interrupting in the middle of a sentence is rude, but help to get out of a block on an obvious word is not, on the opposite, it is kindness.

I would even say that, actually, it is not helping in such a case which is rude. And I am personaly convinced that there are even some idiots on this earth that do it on purpose.

A real life example: last week I had to tell to two colleagues that I had left the key of the meeting room to our secretary, by the name of "Vanessa". While saying "I gave the key to Vanessa", I completely blocked on the final "ssa".
At the place I was bocked, it was already abundantly clear what I meant.
But the two guys let me struggle with this completely alone, which must have taken me at least 2 minutes since I first tried several times to force the syllable out, then tried two times to restart the word without more success with its last sound, and then could only do it by starting over the whole sentence, but living a "nightmare" to pronounce each syllable.

In such cases, I don't think that not helping was politeness (even misplaced politeness), but voluntary rudeness.

My point exactly!!!! Vanes--- obviosuly meant
Vanessa, they should of automaticaly responded
in a regular manner as anyone else would to your question or statement--although you had a jam
on the last part of a name, Vanes is close
enough...!!

Another example:: "I need to go to the sto-r-r"__
Another ACTIVE LISTENER could say "the store??"
The speaker who is having trouble could say
"thank you- I'll be back shortly!!"

THAT IS PERFECT KINDNESS TO ANY STUTTERER--
IT IS HELPING A STUTTERER WHEN HE OR SHE HAS TROUBLE, IT IS NOT INTERUPTING, AND IT EASES
FRUSTERATION FOR THE STUTTERER!!!

[happy7117]

I do not like when people have to listen to me speak either. I know that it is not pleasant to see or listen to, and that it requires a lot of attention that they could easily do without.
But I do not think that this is sufficient reason for my interlocutors to make me see it rudely. I feel humiliated enough by my stutter, and there is no need for them to add more to it.

Interlocutors?? I never heard that word before!!!
Is that a synonym for "listeners"??

What does that word mean???

Since a listener has to put extra strain to pay
attention to a stutter--it might tire them,
and they just might not bother-- and "pretend"
to listen-or nod their head when they don't know what a stutterer says!

[claragazza]

Interlocutors?? I never heard that word before!!!
Is that a synonym for "listeners"??

What does that word mean???



It means a person you talk with.
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Interlocutor

Sorry if my english sounds strange. It is not my mother tongue...

[happy7117]

It means a person you talk with.
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Interlocutor

Sorry if my english sounds strange. It is not my mother tongue...

Thank you- it's a conversation partner!!