Why acceptance isnt the best option

[N9NEstein]

A lot of people think that just accepting that you stutter is the best option, at least ive seen alot of posts on it. I think this depends on alot of what you mean by acceptance, bc i dont think that its ok to stutter outright in public- not in the sense that its "wrong" but in the sense that it does several other things besides just not being able to talk fluently.

The most important thing is that when you do stutter, because its so out of the ordinary, and something people dont hear very often at all, they automatically pay attnetion to it over anything else.

Say you were talking with some people about politics, and you commented on a point someone made, and you stuttered...even if you made the greatest point ever, it's not going to matter, because people arent paying attnetion to what your saying. And it is unconcious that they do this, just as we would unconciously pay attention to something just as out of the ordinary, like if a person would jump in air in the middle of their sentence...if a person did this, we wouldnt be paying attention at all the what they were saying and the conversation would slowly end from there.

Now if stuttering wasnt so out of the ordinary, it would be a different story and people wouldnt unconciously give it so much attention.

Also when you do stutter, (depending on how severe it is)....its hard for you to keep eye contact if you have ever noticed,...it is a very awkward situation, even if the listener knows what is happening. My freind ofbasically my whole life who understands my stutter more than anyone even has a hard time keeping the eye contact if i encounter a hard block...

I think the best the choice is to do whatever you need to do to minimize your stuttering, within reason. It just has too much of a social stigma currently.

[amey]

The interesting thing is that when a person Accepts their stuttering, all of the things that you mentioned no longer matter to the person. The listeners reaction and how the listener feels is no longer a concern.- - - There are stutterers who accept their stuttering and use NO techniques and there are stutterers who accept their stuttering and APPLY techniques. In both cases, the person has accepted that they are a person who stutterers. there is no more trying to hide and be something that they are not.--- Acceptance is a process. It is a pretty amazing feeling to stutter openly and not care.---

[howeee]

A lot of people think that just accepting that you stutter is the best option, at least ive seen alot of posts on it. I think this depends on alot of what you mean by acceptance, bc i dont think that its ok to stutter outright in public- not in the sense that its "wrong" but in the sense that it does several other things besides just not being able to talk fluently.

The most important thing is that when you do stutter, because its so out of the ordinary, and something people dont hear very often at all, they automatically pay attnetion to it over anything else.

Say you were talking with some people about politics, and you commented on a point someone made, and you stuttered...even if you made the greatest point ever, it's not going to matter, because people arent paying attnetion to what your saying. And it is unconcious that they do this, just as we would unconciously pay attention to something just as out of the ordinary, like if a person would jump in air in the middle of their sentence...if a person did this, we wouldnt be paying attention at all the what they were saying and the conversation would slowly end from there.

Now if stuttering wasnt so out of the ordinary, it would be a different story and people wouldnt unconciously give it so much attention.

Also when you do stutter, (depending on how severe it is)....its hard for you to keep eye contact if you have ever noticed,...it is a very awkward situation, even if the listener knows what is happening. My freind ofbasically my whole life who understands my stutter more than anyone even has a hard time keeping the eye contact if i encounter a hard block...

I think the best the choice is to do whatever you need to do to minimize your stuttering, within reason. It just has too much of a social stigma currently.

It was very hard for me to make out what you are talking about, cept the part you shouldnt stutter in public lmao,,you mean a person who has a limp shouldnt limp in public either lol, Maybe a person shouldnt be blind in public either. What about a person who has notable lisp? What about all the stutterers who had years of therapy without any positive affect they should lock themselves up in thier homes? lol give me a break.

[N9NEstein]

It was very hard for me to make out what you are talking about, cept the part you shouldnt stutter in public lmao,,you mean a person who has a limp shouldnt limp in public either lol, Maybe a person shouldnt be blind in public either. What about a person who has notable lisp? What about all the stutterers who had years of therapy without any positive affect they should lock themselves up in thier homes? lol give me a break.

ok did you read the rest of my post? or just the first few sentences, because i said thats NOT what i meant, specifically, when i said stutterers shouldnt stutter in public...

"""bc i dont think that its ok to stutter outright in public (you must have stopped reading right here)- not in the sense that its "wrong" but in the sense that it does several other things besides just not being able to talk fluently."""

...I was simply pointing out that, depending on the severity of the stutter, there are invisible concequences to stuttering in public...

[N9NEstein]

The interesting thing is that when a person Accepts their stuttering, all of the things that you mentioned no longer matter to the person. The listeners reaction and how the listener feels is no longer a concern.- - - There are stutterers who accept their stuttering and use NO techniques and there are stutterers who accept their stuttering and APPLY techniques. In both cases, the person has accepted that they are a person who stutterers. there is no more trying to hide and be something that they are not.--- Acceptance is a process. It is a pretty amazing feeling to stutter openly and not care.---

Yeah, i think that stutterer's who dont do things to make themselves more fluent (which is the perception of "accepting" that some portray) isnt good, you should always try and use techniques to strive for the highest level of fluency...

and yes i do defintely agree that stuttering openly and not caring is a very amazing thing...ive seen it once and it was inspiraring even for me...its not my path, personally, at least for right now, but its defintely an option...i feel like i would have to explain the situation to everyone i stutter infront of, which would be a pain, and also would come off like your wearing your problems on your sleeves, (even though it shouldnt) ...like if i stuttering ordering coffee, would i explain it to the employee? or just pretend it didnt happen?

[amey]

Yeah, i think that stutterer's who dont do things to make themselves more fluent (which is the perception of "accepting" that some portray) isnt good, you should always try and use techniques to strive for the highest level of fluency...

and yes i do defintely agree that stuttering openly and not caring is a very amazing thing...ive seen it once and it was inspiraring even for me...its not my path, personally, at least for right now, but its defintely an option...i feel like i would have to explain the situation to everyone i stutter infront of, which would be a pain, and also would come off like your wearing your problems on your sleeves, (even though it shouldnt) ...like if i stuttering ordering coffee, would i explain it to the employee? or just pretend it didnt happen?

Some stutterers only complicate their stuttering when they do try to apply techniques, and some just flat out dont care. There is no rule of behavior for stuttering, it is a very personal decision.---as for ordering coffee, you can do it how ever you want. Tell the employee you stutter and order the coffee Or just stutter your butt off and not say a word about it. It isnt about the emplyee and how he/she feels. It is about the person stuttering and what is best for them. ZGood luck!

[Bruce]

look it does make sense to accept your stuttering because: is there any other choice???

it simply is the logical thing to do but don't count on it to cure you.