Talleifer
08-18-2010, 05:53 AM
Hey everyone, I just stumbled upon this site while looking up some info on stuttering. I'm more or less a covert or closet stutterer I guess, as I try to hide it as much as possible, always switching words to speak fluently and monitoring my speech for possible blocks. People I don't know very well don't seem to pick up on it, but all my friends and family know of it. I can't say if I stutter more or less with my close friends and family.
Some days I don't stutter at all, and I've been very good over the years, 25 now, to speak more properly, stay relaxed and try not to get flustered if I slip up while speaking. I find it's almost guaranteed that if I say something without stuttering and someone for some reason doesn't hear me, and asks me to repeat it, I will come to a block almost immediately, usually on a sound that gets stuck, and my eyes close and it won't come out and I try to evade and of course use words like um, ah, well, ok, or whatever I can fit in there to buy me some time.
It's frustrating being a covert stutter in a way in that people don't know I stutter who don't know me, so when I'm buying time they just think I'm slow and don't know what's going on or think I'm really shy and quiet... meanwhile I've thought up exactly what I'm going to say, and probably several other things as well, and analyzed their reactions to several scenarios lol. I don't think of myself as shy at all though, I just speak very little unless I'm confident I can say things fluently, and am to embarrassed to talk much because I'm afraid I'll stutter.
I really like acting, and feel if I could get past this, I could have a shot hehe... I've been in a few plays and musicals and I really enjoyed them. Now, sort of like singing, when I'm acting as a different person I tend to not stutter... as if the character I'm playing doesn't stutter so I don't if I'm acting as that character. Not sure if other people are like that, but I kind of feel guilty sometimes about my stuttering, because others have it so much worse and I'm frustrated about people finding out I stutter or if I stutter even in front of people I know very well, and even if it wasn't that bad.
Recently I've also found out about cluttering, where you speak to fast and drop syllables or sounds, and people can't hear you, and this is something I seem to do as well, although with trying to monitor stuttering I usually try to speak slower and enunciate as much as possible, which helps out with that too. However if I'm not consciously monitoring and slowing I constantly get asked to repeat what I say even if I don't stutter, or asked to slow down.
One other thing though, after I've taken up what is probably too long of an intro letter, is that if I'm speaking out loud to myself, I very rarely stutter at all. Also I find I stutter more when reading out loud in front of people then just saying what's on my mind.
Anyways, from what I've read a lot of people seem to share a lot of the same opinions, but I hope I didn't pour too much into the intro... I do tend to get carried away with a keyboard.
Some days I don't stutter at all, and I've been very good over the years, 25 now, to speak more properly, stay relaxed and try not to get flustered if I slip up while speaking. I find it's almost guaranteed that if I say something without stuttering and someone for some reason doesn't hear me, and asks me to repeat it, I will come to a block almost immediately, usually on a sound that gets stuck, and my eyes close and it won't come out and I try to evade and of course use words like um, ah, well, ok, or whatever I can fit in there to buy me some time.
It's frustrating being a covert stutter in a way in that people don't know I stutter who don't know me, so when I'm buying time they just think I'm slow and don't know what's going on or think I'm really shy and quiet... meanwhile I've thought up exactly what I'm going to say, and probably several other things as well, and analyzed their reactions to several scenarios lol. I don't think of myself as shy at all though, I just speak very little unless I'm confident I can say things fluently, and am to embarrassed to talk much because I'm afraid I'll stutter.
I really like acting, and feel if I could get past this, I could have a shot hehe... I've been in a few plays and musicals and I really enjoyed them. Now, sort of like singing, when I'm acting as a different person I tend to not stutter... as if the character I'm playing doesn't stutter so I don't if I'm acting as that character. Not sure if other people are like that, but I kind of feel guilty sometimes about my stuttering, because others have it so much worse and I'm frustrated about people finding out I stutter or if I stutter even in front of people I know very well, and even if it wasn't that bad.
Recently I've also found out about cluttering, where you speak to fast and drop syllables or sounds, and people can't hear you, and this is something I seem to do as well, although with trying to monitor stuttering I usually try to speak slower and enunciate as much as possible, which helps out with that too. However if I'm not consciously monitoring and slowing I constantly get asked to repeat what I say even if I don't stutter, or asked to slow down.
One other thing though, after I've taken up what is probably too long of an intro letter, is that if I'm speaking out loud to myself, I very rarely stutter at all. Also I find I stutter more when reading out loud in front of people then just saying what's on my mind.
Anyways, from what I've read a lot of people seem to share a lot of the same opinions, but I hope I didn't pour too much into the intro... I do tend to get carried away with a keyboard.