claragazza
05-19-2006, 10:55 AM
One thing that drives me mad to the point I would cry is when I try to enter discussions between a group.
Because it is hard for me to start a sentence in stressful situations, I have to wait for a proper opportunity to “dive in”, for instance, a silence a bit longer than usual between the interventions of the non-stutterers.
But even then, by the time I can get understandable words out of my mouth, there would always be someone that would have resumed the discussion, not noticing me. So I have to stop speaking, which is heart breaking.
Or, probably even worse, someone else has noticed my struggle and makes a gesture or a sign to let the one that has resumed speaking know that I am trying to speak. Then I find myself surrounded with people listening to me by politeness if not pity, but actually only waiting for the end to resume their “normal” conversation. This stresses me enormously and my speech is even worse. An anyway because I had to wait to find the proper time to speak, what I say is always a bit ridiculously outside of the subject, so no-one is interested, ... if they understand what I say. Generally, when I am over people would say kind of “oh, yes, certainly” … and continue the “real” discussion.
Although I make my best to try over and over again, this is always an awfully bitter experience.
Do you also experience the same feelings? Or did you find ways to overcome this problem?
In the past, I had tried a few things. For instance, in the beginning of my 20s, where I had more faith into myself, at least in small groups, when I wanted to speak, I grabbed the arm of the person speaking to “force” him or her to stop and listen. But my friends later let me know that this was too aggressive.
I also had a period when I tried not to stop speaking even when someone else had started at the same time as myself. But this is a game I of course never won, and, I ended up tiring more or less everyone. I had to stop because I felt people started to consider me as a nuisance.
Life is really hard…
Because it is hard for me to start a sentence in stressful situations, I have to wait for a proper opportunity to “dive in”, for instance, a silence a bit longer than usual between the interventions of the non-stutterers.
But even then, by the time I can get understandable words out of my mouth, there would always be someone that would have resumed the discussion, not noticing me. So I have to stop speaking, which is heart breaking.
Or, probably even worse, someone else has noticed my struggle and makes a gesture or a sign to let the one that has resumed speaking know that I am trying to speak. Then I find myself surrounded with people listening to me by politeness if not pity, but actually only waiting for the end to resume their “normal” conversation. This stresses me enormously and my speech is even worse. An anyway because I had to wait to find the proper time to speak, what I say is always a bit ridiculously outside of the subject, so no-one is interested, ... if they understand what I say. Generally, when I am over people would say kind of “oh, yes, certainly” … and continue the “real” discussion.
Although I make my best to try over and over again, this is always an awfully bitter experience.
Do you also experience the same feelings? Or did you find ways to overcome this problem?
In the past, I had tried a few things. For instance, in the beginning of my 20s, where I had more faith into myself, at least in small groups, when I wanted to speak, I grabbed the arm of the person speaking to “force” him or her to stop and listen. But my friends later let me know that this was too aggressive.
I also had a period when I tried not to stop speaking even when someone else had started at the same time as myself. But this is a game I of course never won, and, I ended up tiring more or less everyone. I had to stop because I felt people started to consider me as a nuisance.
Life is really hard…