leeboss
06-13-2006, 11:59 AM
:) my name is Lee Brennan and I have had a stutter for as long as I can remember, and it shaped me to who I am today, as someone who stutters knows there's a huge amount of different aspects to stuttering, there's the tension that goes with any speaking experience or worse when you know you have to speak at some time in the future, the scanning ahead to see what words are going to catch you.
I felt so not in control of my voice, I thought anybody who could speak properly had it made, that what could possibly be stopping them achieving all they wanted, like all people that stutter I had tricks, swapping words, looking away and at my very worse I would just stop talking all together. I found though that once I got going talking if I talked fast enough without interruption that I wouldn't stutter, but when asked a question, suddenly I couldn't get any words out. Frustration was a part of my life and always had been.
funnily enough I had finished all the speach therapy I was going to get by six years of age and all I remember from that time was, it being a special time with just me and my mum, and all I remember from the speach therapy is being told to go floppy. It was the technique my mum used through my childhood when I tensed up and stuttered.
from then on I just thought stuttering was a part of my life, a part of what made me, me, then on the 3rd of may last year something happened to change my life. I was in the audience for a Tony Robbins seminar, for those who haven't heard of him he is a famous life coach, ( and the big guy in shallow Hal) and he said "anyone with a stutter I can fix that it in twenty mins",come up and see me at the break.
Well I couldn't believe it, this guy was offering to fix my lifelong stutter in twenty minutes. I had a whole range of emotions going on but the one that really surprised me was fear. What would I do without my stutter? And right then I realized that I had been using my stutter as my excuse. I was horrified, I have always wanted to teach but thought, "I cant, I cant even talk properly" my stutter had been my excuse for so long, what was I going to do when my excuse had been taken away from me. I was scared, but I also wanted to be like everyone else and not worry about talking, I wanted to not stutter.
I wrote a letter during the break to Tony Robbins saying how my stutter has affected my life and how I badly wanted to be cured. Of course I didn't get to Tony and it took to the next day to meet one of his life coaches, his name was Simon, he said go have some lunch and we'll fix that stutter when you come back. I nearly cried, I spent that twenty minutes in my room by myself contemplating what my life will be like without my stutter, you might think I should have been elated but I was very scared, I had had my stutter for nearly thirty years and I was finding out I had become very attached to it.
I went back to meet Simon, and he brought me into a large side hall away from the noise and crowds. The hall was empty apart from two chairs I presumed where for us, so I sat down, out of knowwhere he bellowed get up I didn't tell you to sit down, Jesus I jumped, I was startled. (I know now this is called a pattern interrupt) he said stand there and stutter for me, he stood in front of me about four feet away, I was a little confused and I couldn,t think straight, I thought of the letters I get stuck on B being my worse, so I started stuttering out some B words, Becky, balloons, . Simon was saying things like " is that the best you can do"," and I thought you said you were a stutterer" I was getting flustered saying "I am, I do".
He then mirrored my posture when I was stuttering and I noticed for the first time that I actually get into a stuttering position. Simon started mirroring my breathing exactly and he could feel his chest being very tight and breathing very shallow, he was hunched over and looked to me like a meek little mouse, I knew that was exactly how I looked.
He said stand tall," get that feeling in your body when your absolutely certain" "how does it feel?" my head was up, my back was straight and my breathing was deeper, I felt rooted to the ground, really solid. Simon said now say those difficult words, I knew before saying them that there would be no problem saying them, I said them louder with more confidence, now he said "put out your hands and put a picture of you, lee the stutterer in your weak hand" a picture came to my mind immediately of this meek grey hunched over Lee. He asked me to describe him. He now asked my to put who I really am on my strong hand, amazingly a bright clear picture of me came to my mind, I was wearing a sharp black suit and I was standing in front of a huge audience and they were clapping me and cheering me, I looked so proud and happy, I could even look at the peoples faces in the crowd through my own eyes and feel feelings of me standing up on stage. Simon said who are you now and out of knowwhere I said I am a public speaker. I had never in my life thought about public speaking! He told me to make this picture brighter and closer, to turn up the sound, I surprised myself that I was able to do this easily, he told me to breath deep into my lungs and each time bring in the colors and sounds of the picture I wanted to be, now he said look at that meek little mouse of Lee and see how small and grey he is, and see how he is no longer needed in your life. I could see he was no longer needed in my life, now he said all the colors flowing into my lungs from the good hand imagine those getting stronger and more powerful until they're so strong and powerful that you cant hold them anymore, and when you can't hold them powerful colors anymore, I could just go ahead and blast that meek Lee away until he was gone" I did exactly that and in that moment I Knew that my identity as a stutterer was gone, I knew it in every part of me, I was standing tall breathing deep, Simon asked me who I am, "I am a public speaker" I boomed, squeeze your thumb and index finger together. Again he said, "I am a public speaker" a little louder this time, squeeze again your thumb and index finger. Again he boomed "I am a public speaker" I shouted, good" Simon said "now squeeze your thumb and finger together again. Now he said anytime where you feel that meek little grey Lee tries to show his head again you just squeeze your thumb and index finger again and these confident powerful feelings will come back to you instantly.
I thanked him so much, he had changed my life, walking back across that concourse I knew with absolute clarity that I had to teach this to other stutterers who have not achieved all they can due to stuttering, I knew I had to find out these techniques and teach them on, but I had to find out what they were called first, which I did quickly, its amazing when your brain knows what it has to do, the information it needs just appears.
I discovered the process is based on N.L.P Principles. N.L.P Stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming, a very powerful type of phycholgy, that is used in coaching and therapy.
But I found that it was not a magic wand, the identity part of stuttering is only a part of it, I am still learning to breath properly as I was and still can shallow breath, which in turn puts my shoulders up and gets me very close to my meek mouse place, but now I notice it and stand tall take some deep breaths and if I need to I'll squeeze me finger and thumb and even now a year later it brings me right back to that time and all the feelings I had.
I now practice and teach meditation techniques that bring your attention to your breathing and generally make you a lot calmer. I have gone on to get my N.L.P practitioner training Certificate, which I am very proud of and now I want to share all I know and learn a lot more, so please send me your stories and questions and your own techniques you've used. I've found people who stutter to be hugely creative in finding ways to make there stuttering better, I want this network to be a place where we can come and share our past, our present and our future. Thanks for hearing my story. Lee
I felt so not in control of my voice, I thought anybody who could speak properly had it made, that what could possibly be stopping them achieving all they wanted, like all people that stutter I had tricks, swapping words, looking away and at my very worse I would just stop talking all together. I found though that once I got going talking if I talked fast enough without interruption that I wouldn't stutter, but when asked a question, suddenly I couldn't get any words out. Frustration was a part of my life and always had been.
funnily enough I had finished all the speach therapy I was going to get by six years of age and all I remember from that time was, it being a special time with just me and my mum, and all I remember from the speach therapy is being told to go floppy. It was the technique my mum used through my childhood when I tensed up and stuttered.
from then on I just thought stuttering was a part of my life, a part of what made me, me, then on the 3rd of may last year something happened to change my life. I was in the audience for a Tony Robbins seminar, for those who haven't heard of him he is a famous life coach, ( and the big guy in shallow Hal) and he said "anyone with a stutter I can fix that it in twenty mins",come up and see me at the break.
Well I couldn't believe it, this guy was offering to fix my lifelong stutter in twenty minutes. I had a whole range of emotions going on but the one that really surprised me was fear. What would I do without my stutter? And right then I realized that I had been using my stutter as my excuse. I was horrified, I have always wanted to teach but thought, "I cant, I cant even talk properly" my stutter had been my excuse for so long, what was I going to do when my excuse had been taken away from me. I was scared, but I also wanted to be like everyone else and not worry about talking, I wanted to not stutter.
I wrote a letter during the break to Tony Robbins saying how my stutter has affected my life and how I badly wanted to be cured. Of course I didn't get to Tony and it took to the next day to meet one of his life coaches, his name was Simon, he said go have some lunch and we'll fix that stutter when you come back. I nearly cried, I spent that twenty minutes in my room by myself contemplating what my life will be like without my stutter, you might think I should have been elated but I was very scared, I had had my stutter for nearly thirty years and I was finding out I had become very attached to it.
I went back to meet Simon, and he brought me into a large side hall away from the noise and crowds. The hall was empty apart from two chairs I presumed where for us, so I sat down, out of knowwhere he bellowed get up I didn't tell you to sit down, Jesus I jumped, I was startled. (I know now this is called a pattern interrupt) he said stand there and stutter for me, he stood in front of me about four feet away, I was a little confused and I couldn,t think straight, I thought of the letters I get stuck on B being my worse, so I started stuttering out some B words, Becky, balloons, . Simon was saying things like " is that the best you can do"," and I thought you said you were a stutterer" I was getting flustered saying "I am, I do".
He then mirrored my posture when I was stuttering and I noticed for the first time that I actually get into a stuttering position. Simon started mirroring my breathing exactly and he could feel his chest being very tight and breathing very shallow, he was hunched over and looked to me like a meek little mouse, I knew that was exactly how I looked.
He said stand tall," get that feeling in your body when your absolutely certain" "how does it feel?" my head was up, my back was straight and my breathing was deeper, I felt rooted to the ground, really solid. Simon said now say those difficult words, I knew before saying them that there would be no problem saying them, I said them louder with more confidence, now he said "put out your hands and put a picture of you, lee the stutterer in your weak hand" a picture came to my mind immediately of this meek grey hunched over Lee. He asked me to describe him. He now asked my to put who I really am on my strong hand, amazingly a bright clear picture of me came to my mind, I was wearing a sharp black suit and I was standing in front of a huge audience and they were clapping me and cheering me, I looked so proud and happy, I could even look at the peoples faces in the crowd through my own eyes and feel feelings of me standing up on stage. Simon said who are you now and out of knowwhere I said I am a public speaker. I had never in my life thought about public speaking! He told me to make this picture brighter and closer, to turn up the sound, I surprised myself that I was able to do this easily, he told me to breath deep into my lungs and each time bring in the colors and sounds of the picture I wanted to be, now he said look at that meek little mouse of Lee and see how small and grey he is, and see how he is no longer needed in your life. I could see he was no longer needed in my life, now he said all the colors flowing into my lungs from the good hand imagine those getting stronger and more powerful until they're so strong and powerful that you cant hold them anymore, and when you can't hold them powerful colors anymore, I could just go ahead and blast that meek Lee away until he was gone" I did exactly that and in that moment I Knew that my identity as a stutterer was gone, I knew it in every part of me, I was standing tall breathing deep, Simon asked me who I am, "I am a public speaker" I boomed, squeeze your thumb and index finger together. Again he said, "I am a public speaker" a little louder this time, squeeze again your thumb and index finger. Again he boomed "I am a public speaker" I shouted, good" Simon said "now squeeze your thumb and finger together again. Now he said anytime where you feel that meek little grey Lee tries to show his head again you just squeeze your thumb and index finger again and these confident powerful feelings will come back to you instantly.
I thanked him so much, he had changed my life, walking back across that concourse I knew with absolute clarity that I had to teach this to other stutterers who have not achieved all they can due to stuttering, I knew I had to find out these techniques and teach them on, but I had to find out what they were called first, which I did quickly, its amazing when your brain knows what it has to do, the information it needs just appears.
I discovered the process is based on N.L.P Principles. N.L.P Stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming, a very powerful type of phycholgy, that is used in coaching and therapy.
But I found that it was not a magic wand, the identity part of stuttering is only a part of it, I am still learning to breath properly as I was and still can shallow breath, which in turn puts my shoulders up and gets me very close to my meek mouse place, but now I notice it and stand tall take some deep breaths and if I need to I'll squeeze me finger and thumb and even now a year later it brings me right back to that time and all the feelings I had.
I now practice and teach meditation techniques that bring your attention to your breathing and generally make you a lot calmer. I have gone on to get my N.L.P practitioner training Certificate, which I am very proud of and now I want to share all I know and learn a lot more, so please send me your stories and questions and your own techniques you've used. I've found people who stutter to be hugely creative in finding ways to make there stuttering better, I want this network to be a place where we can come and share our past, our present and our future. Thanks for hearing my story. Lee