How Do You Make Friends???

[clark]

I seem to have a hard time making friends. I am 26 years old and I have no one that I can call a friend. I have no social life. I go to work then I go home.
It seems that I can't get past the initial conversation with people to progress to a "friendship". With most people, well, so far with all people, when the conversation starts and I stutter they give me the "Oh I'm sorry, wrong door" smile, then walk away never to be seen again.
I've been reading books about how to be social and make friends. It turns out the most important thing is that the other person has to feel comfortable with you. Which I am guessing is where I go wrong. It must be uncomfortable at the least to talk to a person who struggles to say every other word and whose lips tremble like he's on the verge of freezing to death.
So a few times I tried explaining/ apologizing for myself saying "I'm sorry, sometimes I have a hard time speaking". This rendered a different smile, the "I'm sorry to hear your dog just died, that must suck" smile. But with the same reaction- an abrupt end to our little "meeting" followed by an awkward exit.
Now I know some of you fellow stutterers are married and I am assuming most of you aren't as lonely as I am. So my question is how do you do it? How do you make friends?

[sruti]

hi
i am 26yrs old married woman.i had very difficult times in making friends.i have very few friends.i was avoided in school,college as they thought i was quite and reserved.my social life is very limited.i too feel lonely very often.but i am glad my friends understand me to some extent.whenever i try to make friends even i get the same surprising and annoying smiles which irritate me,so most of the time i kept to myself.i think a true friend is who accepts you as you are.i am happy that i have found friends on this forum though i never met them.
sruti

[bbp]

I don't have alot of friends, just very few close ones. However, I do hate starting a new job or whatever and having to get to know the new people. It really depends on the mood I'm in. Sometimes, I can hide my stutter for a while and at least get to know the people before they realize I talk funny. Usually though, I block a little and the people give me that confused look then avoid eye contact. I try my best to move on, remain posotive and convince myself that they don't even care.

[claragazza]

Normally people would first talk to me by pity. I can feel that they have very hard time listening to my painful speech. That irritates me but I know I cannot blame them.
The ones that are patient enough not to flee after just a few polite questions fall in two categories:
- The ones that stay out of kind of "perverse" curiosity to "enjoy the show"...
- The ones that will become real caring friends.

[Insha]

Guys, i dont understand how u all dont have friends.I am 18 years old and have stammered all through my life but i never had any difficulty what so ever in making friends.And i have always had lots of friends.Infact many of my friends feel they r inferior to me in some way and thats not bad at all.Never let ur stammering affect ur relations with anyone.

[Standingtall]

Speaking personally, I reckon people who stammer are perhaps more sensitive about feelings, etc and are therefore perhaps more cautious about who they make friends with? I found when younger that it was easier to be friends with girls than boys - perhaps they were more understanding?
I think a lot stammerers spend a lot of time in their own heads. It's just a matter of nerve and courage.
My thoughts almost mirror yours P.O.T.. I was very sensitive to my own feelings, really scared to get hurt again. People teasing you and you thinking, real friends won't tease you or make fun of your stutter. Stomp the ground and go and be by yourself. I have learned that people tease each other, it is a way of getting comfortable with each other. I think of the many times I tease my nephews about getting girlfriends, and they turn real shy.

Women make the best friends, guys are just buddies you can do silly stuffs with. Go hunting, fishing, playing sports etc.. Women are more sensitive to feelings and they listen better.

I think we spend too much time in our heads. I remember a lot of my hunting trips when I was young, I would just walk and think. Not really worried about hunting. How times I sat on a log and just think about everything.

Today, I am like Elliott, I talk to anybody that is within talking distance to me. I have had some interesting conversations with strangers I just met. I'm a social person, trying real hard, I like to mingle, start with the people I know and work the room that way.

I have a couple quality friends, few buddies and a best friend. There is always room for more and I feel there are many good quality friends here.

[happy7117]

The stuttering held me back from wanting to make alot of friends--
the stuttering made me want to make me recoil from making
friends--people get impatient listening to me--!! Really boils my
blood when it takes such a hard time saying stuff!!

I absoulutely cannot deal weith this-it's been 25 long
angering years!!

[bbp]

I really am a very social person too, and depending on the environment I can be just as, if not more outgoing than fluent people who are just nervous. I do have very few close friends but I have quite a few acquaintances through work and school. I think a big part of meeting people is how they perceive you. If you seem awkward, don't make eye contact and seem nervous it makes the other person uncomfortable. That's something that I struggle with alot, I tend to want to avoid eye contact as theres nothing more humiliating to me then making complete eye contact with someone and blocking.

Vice versa, if you can exude confidence and comfortableness, regardless of your speech( I know, it aint easy ) then people will tend to respond to you better. Of course, there still are the people who are so incredibly awkward to talk to you because you stutter. I just remind myself that its probably because they are insecure themselves( we're all insecure about something ).

The older I get the more I adapt the "oh well, i just gotta deal with it" attitude so I tend to just go out on a limb and am usually outgoing to people. Too many people are too shy to ever make the move to aquant themselves with you, so I usually just take the initiative and risk embarassing myself. It's funny, sometimes I feel like I'm more outgoing than alot of fluent people. If only they knew what it was like to not have confidence of speech, people really take it for granted.

[clark]

Thanks for your comments. So you guys are saying that there are people out there who will stick around to hear what I have to say despite my stuttering. It's just that I haven't been fortunate enough to meet them and instead, as luck would have it, I encounter the other side of the population. So I should get back out there and meet new people, eventually meeting the "right" people. If you're an odds maker you could say I'm due.

Oh, and saying something of interest helps. And of course saying it with some degree of confidence would help too.

Which brings up the question- How do you talk with confidence? In my case I've been laughed at, ignored, treated different, and talked down to and I'm assuming that you have been through at least some of that. So I guess you could say that my confidence is pretty low, if not non-existent due to my stuttering and the grief it causes. So I ask- How do you find confidence when talking/ stuttering with other people when in the past you have been percieved so horribly?

[Insha]

We need not lose our confidence only because we r stamerers.No one is perfect.And no one even cares about our stammering as we stamerers do, they dont really mind if the other guy is stamering.The only thing as a stutterer we have to do is be confident or atleast act confident, we should indulge in some sort of sport or activities which we r good at.Its a known fact that by and large stutterers r more intellegent than other people.So no matter how we talk, if we talk sence then other person would respect us.And believe me i feel a lot superior than my friends and other people.And most importantly chuck the attitude of self pity and blaming others, u will only end up hurting ur self even more.Be positive, so what if we stammer show the world that we r better than them and can even talk better than them.

[bbp]

Its a known fact that by and large stutterers r more intellegent than other people.

Is that a proven fact?
Maybe its just that disfluency occurs more often in people with moderate to high intelligence.

[Insha]

Is that a proven fact?
Maybe its just that disfluency occurs more often in people with moderate to high intelligence.

Thats because sometimes when talking we have so much choice of words(maybe because we subsitude words) that we end up confused and trip over words.And also the habit of scanning ahead of what we r going to say is the chief cause for stammering.

[bbp]

Is there any study or documentation that supports this?
I'm not saying you're wrong or anything, I'm just really intrigued with the concept and would like to read about it.

[Insha]

Is there any study or documentation that supports this?
I'm not saying you're wrong or anything, I'm just really intrigued with the concept and would like to read about it.

No not really.But who needs a proven document when its so very apparent.It is a theory its not proven.But u see many aspects in science r also theory.

[bignick]

I have a couple of friends and as I get older, I seem to have less. But thats down to me spending all my time with my family
I talk to people a lot and its difficult to stop me, I find that if you take an interest in what they are saying and respond to them in a positive way then having a stutter wont stop you getting friends.
Dont look bored, pay attention to them and you will go far.
My stutter doesnt stop me from doing much and if people dont want to listen to me then they are more than welcome to walk away as they arent worth talking to.

[Insha]

I have a couple of friends and as I get older, I seem to have less. But thats down to me spending all my time with my family
I talk to people a lot and its difficult to stop me, I find that if you take an interest in what they are saying and respond to them in a positive way then having a stutter wont stop you getting friends.
Dont look bored, pay attention to them and you will go far.
My stutter doesnt stop me from doing much and if people dont want to listen to me then they are more than welcome to walk away as they arent worth talking to.
That is exactly what i think, if u really concentrate hard on what the other person is saying u firstly understand clearly what he is saying and know exactly how to respond to him.And secondly while u r listening to him u actually forget to scan ahead and that can stop stammering.

[Standingtall]

The way I see things, I see this mingle thing as a game, maybe a chess game or monpoly, and once you know a few rules, you can become quite skilled. I usually start with people I know, and work the room that way. You will get introduce to other people. People love to talk and many of them consider themselfs experts. You don't really have to do much talking, show that your paying close attention and enjoying yourself. The good quality people will not make it a one sided conversation. I find women are very good at this. Confidence builds after you try something once and find out it is not so hard and then you try it again. One person may not take you seriouly, but that does not mean the next person will be the same.

Another thing, don't get upset, because someone laughts at you. Many famous people got laughted at for their point of views but they stuck to their guns. Friendship is a two way street and sometimes you have to make the first commitment. I have done this a few times, when i go out for coffee, I ask who is around, if they want anything from Tim Hortons. I bring it back for them and when they try to pay me, I usually tell them their money is no good with me. A few insist, but that is okay. It works wonders down the road. Remember what people tell you and you can bring it up with them later.

We all have our little things to keep our friends and family happy. A few of us Wives, husbands, a few girlfriends and one girlfriend, girlfriend partner. You know your mother's birthday and what color her eyes are and what she likes and don't like. You have the skills. Friendship is a personal bond between two people. Well that is my view.

[bbp]

I talk to people a lot and its difficult to stop me, I find that if you take an interest in what they are saying and respond to them in a positive way then having a stutter wont stop you getting friends.
Dont look bored, pay attention to them and you will go far.



You bring up some good points. Alot of people may be able to speak fluently but they have very poor communication skills. Such as not seeming interested in what you have to say, or just waiting for you to finish your sentence so they can say what they are thinking. One of the things that being disfluent has helped me notice is the "etiquette", I guess, of interpersonal conversation and communication.

I have a couple of friends and as I get older, I seem to have less. But thats down to me spending all my time with my family


That reminds me of something I learned years back, I think maybe it was in psyche class or something. I learned that it is typical to become less social and more introverted as you get older. So, if people feel like they have less friends now than they used to, don't necesarily think its because of your stutter.

[nbakunda]

its funny how much thought i put into this before i answered.
my bro has an aquaintance who is a lingiust. they're dorm mates. this guy is fluent in every kenyan indigenous language and a few international ones too. and there are 39 of them at least. anyway this guy even has a job translating at huge summits in africa. but he has no friends. and he finds it difficult to even hold a conversation for 2 minutes. and he doesnt stutter. so that got me thinking. making friends is a social skill, and has very little to do with speech or any other self conciusness enhancing attributes eg scars or deformities etc. so heres what i think u need to arm yourself with:
1. look good. be clean, kempt, smart and stylish. everyone likes that especially girls. dont preen but smell nice and look clean. u know my girlfrind says that boys latch on to one thing they like, like breasts or derriers and the rest doesnt matter. girs on the other hand get turned of by only one thing, like dirty sneakers and the rest doesnt matter!
2. read up about things, like politics or business or clebrity gossip or even cars or videogames and then cram some of the stuff to regurgitate on demand in case of long silences. of course keep the games and cars for the boys and the politics and gossip and other intelligent sounding info for the girls. trust me, they are smarter!!!
3. dont attempt to fill long silences. this is the trick: when u have nothing to say, just smile coyly at her HER, not him and let out a little chuckle like u know, "i like what i see". girls love that!
4. try ur best not to fidget or lick u'r lips or rub your hands or act like a mac. u'll get smacked.
5. own who u r. i know its scary but just own the whole u. have u ever seen a HOT chick with a HOUND? and u wonder "what does that guy have that i dont?" CONFIDENCE. even if u stutter badly and i know how that can affect you, it should be no excuse to deny yourself love and companionship. let it control all else but say no in this area.
ps not iness. girls like a guy thats queitly confident and strong, not someone that'll steal the show, u know!

power to you
nate

[Standingtall]

What kind of friend will you make. Will you write their bads in the sand and their good deeds on stone. Will you do the lifting or be the lifted. Will you be leaving footprints on someone else's heart or have them leave their on yours. I know with my friends, I like to give more than I recieve. For example, I change the starter motor in my sister's in law car, she wanted to pay me for it, but I told her. Just pay for the part and give me a hug to say thank you.

[cherokeeprinces]

I love that

[Standingtall]

That's what all the gilrls say to me!!!!!!
Your bragging again and many of us might feel inferior again. lol

[Standingtall]

Sorry bigstandingtall.

I will add on "......in my dreams".

Can't have you feeling inadequate big man......
ahahaha, I'm fine, there is another reason why they call me standingtall. We have to think of other people feelings.

[cherokeeprinces]

do we dare ask ?

[bignick]

I am waiting quietly in the background to see how far this goes.
All talk and no actions comes to mind.

:D

[cherokeeprinces]

lol good idea better to be safe than sorry lol

[Standingtall]

On this forum it's all talk, wait until my special movie comes out. lol

[bignick]

Is it feature length or a two minute clip.!!!!

:eek:

[Standingtall]

ooooooohhhhhhh mmmmmyyyyy what have I got myself into. It will be longer than the trailer and yes you guys can get a signed copy.

[cherokeeprinces]

see now you got standingtall started he will want copyright to the movie next lol

[Standingtall]

Well, we have:

bigstandingtall
bignick
bigd

What a start of a cast!!!!!
We have to be careful of Power of Three he only put down three names. There is more to his name. lol

[cherokeeprinces]

power of three could be a good thing lol

[Standingtall]

power of three could be a good thing lol
Speaking from experience. You sure don't have problem making friends. lol

[cherokeeprinces]

Speaking from experience. You sure don't have problem making friends. lol


hardy har har har

[clark]

I guess one of the problems for me when talking to others is that I didn't know what to say. So if anyone else is at a loss of what to say when having a conversation you should read this book "The Fine Art of Small Talk" by Debra Fine.

I found the tip about "free information" very helpful. It is when someone says something like .... "I was working out when my i-pod broke". You now have "free information" about that person which you can turn into a question to further the conversation. Like you know that she works out- you could ask where, how often, what exercises, etc. And she has an i-pod- you could ask which kind (nano, mini, etc.), what music does she like, favorite songs, accessories, favorite bands/singers, etc. (Just try not to make it sound like shes under interrogation.)

It also helps if you too give out free information, by giving elaborate answers and not just short ones. You have to be willing to share and be open with the other person so that the conversation can continue.

This book is filled with more great advice. If you are as socially inept as I am you should definitely read this book.

[BenLZ]

The friends I have now are the same ones I had in sixth grade, our friendships formed naturally and as a stutterer, I usually feel like I'm on the outer rim of the circle. my friendships aren't deep though, and rarely will my friends and I carry on long conversations. So I am a bit bored with most of my friendships.

[Jeff99]

Making freinds is omething most of us have had trouble with but how much do u put ur self out there really do you try to make freinds or do you think ahead i have a stutter he/she wouldn't talk to me. i know it's hard but everything starts with a first step

[Toney]

I encounter alot of people that I have lots in common with, especially from places that i've worked and at the local gym...that's how I develop my current circle of friends.

They're all very aware of my speech impediment, but some say it isn't that bad...they're very patient with me...and sometimes help me finish my sentence.

[happy7117]

I encounter alot of people that I have lots in common with, especially from places that i've worked and at the local gym...that's how I develop my current circle of friends.

They're all very aware of my speech impediment, but some say it isn't that bad...they're very patient with me...and sometimes help me finish my sentence.

I don't like it when people are patient with me-it
makes me edgy knowing they have to wait for me
to spit out words-- I would greatly appreciate if they would interupt to help me..!!

[BenLZ]

I don't like it when people are patient with me-it
makes me edgy knowing they have to wait for me
to spit out words-- I would greatly appreciate if they would interupt to help me..!!

Same here, one time a kid literally waited a minute for me to say one word. It was humiliating, he just stood there staring at me, and I never want to advise them on how they should fill me in because that's just more words to say.

[happy7117]

Same here, one time a kid literally waited a minute for me to say one word. It was humiliating, he just stood there staring at me, and I never want to advise them on how they should fill me in because that's just more words to say.

No doubt you were thinking, "I wish this
could would help me instead of leaving
me stuttering to no end!!"..

When I stutter, it makes me feel the
listener is not listening- and that's what
makes me edgy..and listeners are told
not to interupt a stutter--that makes no
sense!!

For a listener to not interupt a stutter to
help him when he has extreme trouble
is like saying "let him stutter as much as
he needs to--and never help him because
he can say it on his own"...

That's BS!! When we can't get our words out,
and listeners are told to wait and be patient-
what we are actualy doing is letting them feel
unnerved, impatient, and uncomfortable...

It also means that when listeners are told
to not help a stutterer or to be patient, it
actualy means to endure the uncomfortableness
and agony of hearing one stutter without
doing anything to help...

Stutterers who are not able to say freely
what they would like and to have listeners
wait patiently --it's like saying "the stutterer
can say it on his own so do not help him" when
the truth is a stutterer cannot say what he wants
freely so the listener should let the stutterer
be dead stuck!!

That's mean cruel and insensative-- to let
a stutterer suffer in silence- and have a
listener play dumb not doing anything to
help a stutterer--and the listener knows
perfectly well what the stutterer wants
to say- but waits for the stutterer to say
what he obviously knows he can't!!

If a stutterer can only get some of the
message out of what he is trying to say or
ask-- a listener should be able to answer
him if the content of what he is asking is
fairly obvious..

I'm not saying we are mind-readers--I'm
saying if a stutterer has a fairly obviously
point to get across but is having trouble-
don't let him struggle to say it when he
knows he can't- answer him as if he was
done asking what he was asking...

Keep the conversation going and be
an active listener...

A patient listener not helping us when
we struggle alot just makes us struggle
more and more!!!

Fluent people who can easily say stuff
deserve not to interupted because what
they say can be easily said...

But stutterers who cannot say stuff
deserve to be interupted to be
helped because stutterers cannot
say easily what they want for a listener
to easily hear...

Being patient for a stutterer and being
patient for a fluent person are two totaly
different things..the stutterer needs help
to be understood by others-but a fluent
one does not need help to be understood
by others!!

[Anthony]

look man,if people will stick around to hear me talk,they'll do the same for you.

try not to be so uptight,kinda self depricate to ease to tension and you'll be fine

[happy7117]

People don't always have the patience to
stick around and just listen though..no doubt
listening to a stutterer is uncomfortable--!!

Usualy I find laughing at myself after a bad
stuttering experience seems to make the situation
less negative!!

[happy7117]

It's not upsetting post-- I'm glad
your honest!!

I would love it if people had unlimited
patience with my stutter- but some are not
like that!!

I'm not angry at the world--I'm angry at
the stutter--

Life is good, and stuttering is not!!

[thatCALIdude]

i use basketball to make friends, honestly in the past 10-15 years of my life i have no friends that i havent played basketball with. college wise i have no friends, i do my work and go on. thankfully i pretty much have a group of friends from high school that im still in contact with. some have moved away but most have stayed in my area.

[Aijur]

its funny how much thought i put into this before i answered.
my bro has an aquaintance who is a lingiust. they're dorm mates. this guy is fluent in every kenyan indigenous language and a few international ones too. and there are 39 of them at least. anyway this guy even has a job translating at huge summits in africa. but he has no friends. and he finds it difficult to even hold a conversation for 2 minutes. and he doesnt stutter. so that got me thinking. making friends is a social skill, and has very little to do with speech or any other self conciusness enhancing attributes eg scars or deformities etc. so heres what i think u need to arm yourself with:
1. look good. be clean, kempt, smart and stylish. everyone likes that especially girls. dont preen but smell nice and look clean. u know my girlfrind says that boys latch on to one thing they like, like breasts or derriers and the rest doesnt matter. girs on the other hand get turned of by only one thing, like dirty sneakers and the rest doesnt matter!
2. read up about things, like politics or business or clebrity gossip or even cars or videogames and then cram some of the stuff to regurgitate on demand in case of long silences. of course keep the games and cars for the boys and the politics and gossip and other intelligent sounding info for the girls. trust me, they are smarter!!!
3. dont attempt to fill long silences. this is the trick: when u have nothing to say, just smile coyly at her HER, not him and let out a little chuckle like u know, "i like what i see". girls love that!
4. try ur best not to fidget or lick u'r lips or rub your hands or act like a mac. u'll get smacked.
5. own who u r. i know its scary but just own the whole u. have u ever seen a HOT chick with a HOUND? and u wonder "what does that guy have that i dont?" CONFIDENCE. even if u stutter badly and i know how that can affect you, it should be no excuse to deny yourself love and companionship. let it control all else but say no in this area.
ps not iness. girls like a guy thats queitly confident and strong, not someone that'll steal the show, u know!

power to you
nate

Good advice
If confidence is a problem then it doesn`t matter if you aren`t. Believe you are confident , all you have to do is look confident.....the smile when you run out of words is a good idea :D silence is not a problem because people like to talk about themselves so get them talking about them, i think its best to keep the conversation about you for last( first you have to be a good listener and get their attention). Use the environment, get them talking about it , the things around , other people.
Be up to date with the latest events and ask for opinions or match your experience with your future friend. Don`t think about your stutter, be optimistic and speak confident , your voice has an important role in this.Confident sentences makes you more credible.
Lately i keep seeing guys asking girls questions like "what are you thinking about?" "is everything ok?" , don`t do this , it`s a big sign of uncertainty. Oh almost forgot,beeing amusing is a plus , you can start a conversation with a good joke , joke or not ..the battle is half won if you`re sending a good vibe. You will be better at conversations if you don`t run away from them.Talk anytime you have the chance , anywhere anytime.Nothing is impossible so keep your head up , judge from facts , not opinions. i hope this helps :)

[MarkBulger]

Even when I stuttered the worst as a child, I always had friends. My stammer wasn't so bad that I couldn't get out a single word, but I definitely had times when I was hopelessly stuck. It was really school classroom situations that were the worst for me, but at the same time, I made friends with classmates. The kids I was friends with just seemed to accept me. There were certainly other kids to make fun of me, but there rarely happened to my face.

Everyone's situation is different, so I don't want to judge anyone here, but you need to be a friend to make a friend. The world is full of jerks, but a majority of people are OK if you give them a chance.

I look at the Boston Yelp.com forum occassionally, and every so often someone asks "I'm new to Boston - how can I make friends here?" Anyone can have problems making new friends - it has nothing to do with stuttering.

Friends don't come to you, you need to go to them. Ask youself, how many friends have I tried to make this week? How many people have you smiled at today? How many people have you complimented this month? Stuttering doesn't stop you from being nice.

[inferno dhalsim]

in my situation, most of my close friends I have ,are the one I had since elementary and high school . even if I stutter i can make new ''social-friends'' buy being myself and being nice and having the same interest, but it was more challenging in my situation. I met some people at work and at college and once we get along I sometimes add some of theme to my friends,but they are not close friends but ''social-friends''(classmate, same soccer team, neighbors,co-workers, friends of a friend). After some time a few of my social-friends(only a few) will be close friends.

[grantM]

Aquantances are easy to make. Just be yourself and let YOU shine through. People soon forget about the stutter. Friend (true friendship) takes longer to forge. Again be yourself

[Dinasaur]

when I started school this year, i felt more pressured than ever to make friends. not sure why. I guess I just wanted to feel more accepted, especially since my stutter has gotten much worse over the summer. I worried about it day and night, all the time, about how I would make friends. Yes, I'm sure it's much easier to make friends at school than at work, because you have to sit with/work with them every day, but eventually I did end up making friends, which made me feel really great.
This year was the first year I decided not to hide my stuttering, mainly because I knew I couldn't anymore. With that...eventually came the lessening of my fear of stuttering around people I don't know as well. Of course, there's always those people that you REALLY don't want to stutter in front of, but those are the people I just ask for help with on stuff...no conversations or anything, which I'm not really good at with anyone.

But honestly, for you I think the best place to go to make friends in your area would be a stuttering therapy group. I hear it's a great thing to go to and I might start going to one soon. You just sit around with a bunch of people who also stutter and share your stories...but the awesome thing is is that you won't get any weirded out reactions and people won't be repelled by your stutter (I hate to use that word, sorry), because everyone will know exactly what it's like. I think that's a great place for you to start!

[BenLZ]

Fluent speakers see you as sub-human junk they can only feel sorry for. When you have a bad stutter, friendship doesn't serve much of a purpose. It's difficult to communicate, you just end up feeling inferior after a long stutter, and you regret the friendship. It's hard being a loner and it's hard being with people - what do we do?

[grantM]

Fluent speakers see you as sub-human junk they can only feel sorry for. When you have a bad stutter, friendship doesn't serve much of a purpose. It's difficult to communicate, you just end up feeling inferior after a long stutter, and you regret the friendship. It's hard being a loner and it's hard being with people - what do we do?

Again terrible attitude which I guess comes from your own life experiences. Fluent speakers in general and majority do not think this. I have a severe stutter yet I have lots of friends.Just be yourself and get out there and friends will accumulate. Also not all of us are loners. It is impossible in my career.

[AdamC]

I'm a very social person, and I think that my stuttering has actually helped me get more friends, as people see the fact that even though I stutter, I am anything but shy, and I don't let it stand in the way of me enjoying life, and they notice my confidence, and listen to what I have to say because of it. That is how I have gotten most of, if not all of my girlfriends lol

[chris2112]

I'm a very social person, and I think that my stuttering has actually helped me get more friends, as people see the fact that even though I stutter, I am anything but shy, and I don't let it stand in the way of me enjoying life, and they notice my confidence, and listen to what I have to say because of it. That is how I have gotten most of, if not all of my girlfriends lol

Thank you! :)

[LAYLA]

i have a lot of friends.

and i have no idea how i made them :D

[grantM]

i have a lot of friends.

and i have no idea how i made them :D

Quite easy...they got to know you :)

[Sarah11085]

I completely agree Grant! I am being more open about being a PWS and really people don't seem to care nearly as much as WE care! In fact, I self-advertised twice yesterday (telling people that you stutter). Both times the person was like ok yeah no problem.

[GoodGuy]

This question made me laugh when I first read it, because quite frankly, I kind of expected a question like this to come from a four year old youngster with a cute face.

But yeah, you can't tell a person how to make friends. You just go with the flow, and if things lead to the destination in which you want to go and stuff starts to click, then that's friendship there.

[grantM]

That is true GoodGuy..such things really cannot be taught and come down to how you interact with others and what sort of person you are. We cannot be simply injected with charm and wit lol (I wish!).