Anyone feel like its impossible to be "truly" happy unless you fix your stuttering?

[Vermillion]

I don't know, I feel like I can't be 100% happy unless I fix this part of my life. And it's not like I'm not trying, hell, I've tried almost everything from
listening to hypnosis files..prescription medications..supplements..valsalva method..neuropatterning..traditional speech therapy..neurolinguistic programming..EFT..listening to brainwave files.....the list goes on. The only thing that has worked is an intensive program (made me fluent for a year) which I might try again..

I'm only 18, maybe it would be different if I was 50, and just accepted that I will stutter forever.

[happy7117]

Here's my opinion.....

Happiness is a state of mind. If you became fluent, would you become more aware of other parts of your life where you are less than satisfied? Of course. Perhaps there are certain areas of your life where you are unhappy, but you are unaware of it because so much attention is focused on your speech. Perhaps these other areas of your life are affecting your speech.
Accepting a stammer doesn't mean that you like having a stammer, nor that you are contented to spend the rest of your days stammering. To me, it means accepting that this is how things are for the present, and by being happy in other areas of my life, I will become more confident and relaxed, and this in turn will help my speech.

So, in reply to your question, I would say a simple no, it is not impossible to feel truly happy unless you fix your speech.
Or, yes, it is possible to be truly happy having a stammer.
Take your pick.......

The stutter thing has held me back from so much I want to do. It is a big brick wall saying "you will always be lookin straight at me, but you will never be able to break me!"

And I like to compare a sledgehammer to a stuttering device. A sledgehammer or anti-stuttering aid is the surefire way to break down that brick wall. The brick wall being the stuttering!!

[studentdoc]

The stutter thing has held me back from so much I want to do. It is a big brick wall saying "you will always be lookin straight at me, but you will never be able to break me!"

And I like to compare a sledgehammer to a stuttering device. A sledgehammer or anti-stuttering aid is the surefire way to break down that brick wall. The brick wall being the stuttering!!
Which device / aid do you recommend? I can't find happiness until I can control this sh*t. I've been really down lately because I soon go work in the hospital with like 5 hours of sleep, extreme pressure, daily presentations, graders questioning my every aspect of presentation, etc. I don't see how I won't break one of those days and say fuk the whole school thing.

[happy7117]

Try a Casa Futura Device...Desktop Fluency System, Pocket Talker Pro, School DAF..I would love one of those things but they are like $3,000..I cannot afford to buy one, and that makes me more pissed than I already am..and untill then I have to suffer from ignorant listeners who do not help me with what I am trying to say when I stutter, but instead wait patiently not understanding crap, and pretending to listen when they clearly may not be!!!

The money issue is driving me insane..the fact I so desperately need a device to help me speak easier because regular speech therapy has failed me, and that I cannot get one because I don't have that kind of money is devastating...

I mean how can a listener understand a very bad stutterer, they can't...

What does a stutterer do when he cannot be understood 24/7, he gets frusterated, and the frusteration leads to anger, and the anger leads to wanting to fix the problem...

Fixng the problem requires a device, a device requires a couple thousand dollars...

A couple thosand dollars is something us stutterers don't have on hand to get a device so we cannot get one..

So we continue to suffer in agony from day to day
not being understood by others....a deadly cycle.

It is psychologicaly maddening and devestating!!!!

[BenLZ]

I had one of those devices and it didn't really help me much.

However, as to vermillion's post, yes I feel that way because i feel when i get older i can't do anything that involves speaking. then of course there's the girl issue.....Insofar, I'm skeptical on any sort of solution or improvement even though I just started speech therapy.

[studentdoc]

Hey Happy... i feel your frustration but I have heard those devices in general work only for a little while until their "distraction" wears off and stuttering comes back. So don't be too down - because maybe if you had the money it would be money wasted. I thought maybe there is a new one thats been proven, because generally I have read bad reviews on those things.

[happy7117]

Hey Happy... i feel your frustration but I have heard those devices in general work only for a little while until their "distraction" wears off and stuttering comes back. So don't be too down - because maybe if you had the money it would be money wasted. I thought maybe there is a new one thats been proven, because generally I have read bad reviews on those things.

Hmmmm! Interesting!! Why would they wear off? How could a device wear off??

Wouldn't continued use be effective in the long run where you would not need the device and still keep the fluency effects the device gave you??

If a device wears off, can't it be replaced with the same device...

I would much rather use a device like this for the rest of my life then have to stutter nastily!!!

[studentdoc]

Hmmmm! Interesting!! Why would they wear off? How could a device wear off??

Wouldn't continued use be effective in the long run where you would not need the device and still keep the fluency effects the device gave you??

If a device wears off, can't it be replaced with the same device...

I would much rather use a device like this for the rest of my life then have to stutter nastily!!!
What I meant by "wear off" is the placebo effect. This plays a role and is even tested for cancer drugs (to see if the benefits were actually psychological). Yahoo defines it as "The beneficial effect in a patient following a particular treatment that arises from the patient's expectations concerning the treatment rather than from the treatment itself. "

[studentdoc]

Well . . . I am 99% happy with my life and I worry very, very little about the other 1% (that's my stutter) :D
You don't hide your stutter at all do you? I think that's what sets us up for this huge disappointment all the time - the fact that we try to succeed and fail multiple times a day.

[bignick]

Like elliott its part of my life, whats the point of hiding it as you will always be on your guard trying to not let people know you stutter and eventually you will get caught out.

People cope with their stutters in different ways and there is no right or wrong way, its the way that makes you happy.

Nick

[bignick]

Thanks for the welcome back. Been to sunny heathrow and Luton for 2 days and now back in the bosom of my family.

[Jonte]

yeah, I do

[bbp]

I think that's what sets us up for this huge disappointment all the time - the fact that we try to succeed and fail multiple times a day.


I agree, I think that is what makes it such a painful thing. I know that everday, in the back of my mind, I look at every speaking situation as an opportunity to be fluent. I want to succeed but often I stutter and thus "fail". And feeling like you fail over and over every day is detrimental to ones self-esteem, confidence, etc. If we could stop expecting or wanting to be fluent so badly then we wouldn't be disappointed when we were disfluent.

[RickyC]

I think the worst part of it is, is that those of us stuterers who are perfectly normal physically and mntally, are capable of dong anything anyone else can do, but we have can't do most of those things because of our stutter.

I sometimes think that if I ever stopped stuttering, I would be the best at everything I did... things would come so easy.

What sucks even more, is being somone you truly aren't because of you stutter....

I remember that before I eve stuttered i was anaurallytalkative and social child... now, that part of me is hiding, only those really close to me know the true me.

No matter wat anyone says, I am always going t hate my stutter and I will always hate my fake personality.