KevieKee
07-27-2011, 02:45 PM
Hello everyone I'm a fairly new member to this forum. I hail from Washington, DC. Since I've been on here, I've noticed a lot of really sad threads about ones stutter "holding them back". There's a lot of self loathing, hopelessness & depression too. I used to feel like but then I started to think, "Things could be a lot worse & there are more things to worry about".
I get those days where I wanna stay in bed & feel sorry for myself but I can't. I enjoy life too much. My stutter used to be horrible when I was in school & it made me angry. I was angry that I couldn't do simple, everyday things like order food. I've eaten so many things I didn't inparticularly want. I use to have my brother speak for me or order my food bexausr I couldn't or I was embarassed. When ppl asked me my name I couldn't tell them. I couldn't even answer the phone at home it was so bad. I was just so angry & mean. Ppl were my friend because try were afraid of me & I became what I hated the most: a bully.
Once I accepted my stutter everyone else kinda did. I found that the more I tried to hide it the more I stuttered. I still get those times when I first meet ppl I'm quiet & I kinda try to suppress it to feel them out.
Around junior high/high school I couldn't let myself be cast in silence because I was ashamed of myself. Stuttering is apart of who I am & if I wasn't accepting of it no one else would be. In my senior year of high school I took a baby step outside of my comfort zone. I got a job as a cashier in a major grocery chain where I HAD TO talk to ppl. I always did things in the background like editing, writing the arguments for my debate team, writing the speech for my friends to run for student government or arguments for mock trials. I excelled in anything I put myself up to except swim :).
After 2 1/2 years of grocery I wanted something bigger. So I leaped. I became an EMT. I love the excitement of saving lives & knowing because I was there someone lived. A few years later I took a giant leap & became a firefighter. I love flying down the road siren blarring. Again I have my good days & I have my bad days. I've met a lot of ppl who stutter in different lines of work. I know several firefighters, EMT/Paramedics, police officers, etc. What's even more is that I'm a woman & I've accomplished things. I believe it's harder on a woman because a man will always be a man no matter what he does if he exudes confidence. Ppl will respect him no matter what if he commands it. A woman has to fight a little harder especially in a male dominated work force. I have to be 3x better than everyone else.
Basically what I saying is we cannot be afraid of the world. The world will keep moving whether we're going with it or not. I sometimes still order things I don't want but it's allowed me to try new things :). I date like everyone else & then men in my life see past the way I talk. Take chances, make mistakes (Ms. Frizzle -- Magic School Bus). But most of all don't be afraid to jump or fly outta fear of falling. Just close ur eyes & leap!!!
I get those days where I wanna stay in bed & feel sorry for myself but I can't. I enjoy life too much. My stutter used to be horrible when I was in school & it made me angry. I was angry that I couldn't do simple, everyday things like order food. I've eaten so many things I didn't inparticularly want. I use to have my brother speak for me or order my food bexausr I couldn't or I was embarassed. When ppl asked me my name I couldn't tell them. I couldn't even answer the phone at home it was so bad. I was just so angry & mean. Ppl were my friend because try were afraid of me & I became what I hated the most: a bully.
Once I accepted my stutter everyone else kinda did. I found that the more I tried to hide it the more I stuttered. I still get those times when I first meet ppl I'm quiet & I kinda try to suppress it to feel them out.
Around junior high/high school I couldn't let myself be cast in silence because I was ashamed of myself. Stuttering is apart of who I am & if I wasn't accepting of it no one else would be. In my senior year of high school I took a baby step outside of my comfort zone. I got a job as a cashier in a major grocery chain where I HAD TO talk to ppl. I always did things in the background like editing, writing the arguments for my debate team, writing the speech for my friends to run for student government or arguments for mock trials. I excelled in anything I put myself up to except swim :).
After 2 1/2 years of grocery I wanted something bigger. So I leaped. I became an EMT. I love the excitement of saving lives & knowing because I was there someone lived. A few years later I took a giant leap & became a firefighter. I love flying down the road siren blarring. Again I have my good days & I have my bad days. I've met a lot of ppl who stutter in different lines of work. I know several firefighters, EMT/Paramedics, police officers, etc. What's even more is that I'm a woman & I've accomplished things. I believe it's harder on a woman because a man will always be a man no matter what he does if he exudes confidence. Ppl will respect him no matter what if he commands it. A woman has to fight a little harder especially in a male dominated work force. I have to be 3x better than everyone else.
Basically what I saying is we cannot be afraid of the world. The world will keep moving whether we're going with it or not. I sometimes still order things I don't want but it's allowed me to try new things :). I date like everyone else & then men in my life see past the way I talk. Take chances, make mistakes (Ms. Frizzle -- Magic School Bus). But most of all don't be afraid to jump or fly outta fear of falling. Just close ur eyes & leap!!!