My theory on why i started stutter.

[Jonte]

I have been thinking and reading, and I got a theory why I started stutter.

When I was five years old my mom gave birth a twin-grils-couple. Before they were born I got alot of attentions from family, relatives, friends to the family and so on. I was a very funny young boy who used to act and joke a lot. A little clown in a very funny way. I got a lot of attention from everybody, which I needed.

But when my two younger sisters was born they got HUGE attention. All the people that used to give me attention by laughing at me, listening to me, talking to me etc seemed to care less about me and give my sisters all the attention. And I got frustrated about it. My mom has told me that I started to stutter at the age of five, at the same time my sisters was borned.

My mom has also told me a "funny story" about my attention-need. It were on a holiday, maybe christmas or something when family and all relatives was gathered at dinner. We were sitting and eating when I suddenly called out "Everybody that likes me raise a hand!"

Thats a kind of funny story but when I think about it closer I definitively think that all this is the cause of my stutter development. I didnt stutter before they were born and my stutter reduced alot after few years, but appearently it didn't all disappear.

Anyway, lets say I started stutter because of this. I got frustrated because the lack of attention I experienced. But then why did it happend? What is the logical explanation for a developed stutter in this kind?

Well I've thaught about that too. My idea is kind of deep and maybe a little blury, but I think I got a point. Well anyway. I was feeling frustrated and felt sorry for myself since I didnt got the attention I felt I needed. So because of this I started overact, I started trying to be funny like I used to be. The difference was that earlier the fun and all attention just came to me, now I felt that I had do seek it up by trying and trying and trying. Subconsciously I was afraid of not being accepted (which I still am today), and that people would let me down. Abondon me.

I overacted and started to say and do things that I normally wouldn't. Therefore I developed this stutter as a defence mechanism to protect myself from overacting. If i said many things that I really didn't want to say, but I said yet to try to get attention, this stutter might were needed to protect myself from saying the wrong things. Like a conflict between my subconscious mind and my conscious mind.

Thats my idea. It would be interesting to hear what you all think about it. Maybe some of you might relate to it when you compare with your own childhood. Do you have any knowledge if you ever felt abandoned as a child?

As we all know children are very sensitive and even the best parents can develop this feelings in their children.

[studentdoc]

I think you may be correct. I've been digging into my childhood myself and think it has a lot to do with similar things. My parents always made me worried about what I say... ("their family might think such and such about our family if you act that way... or say those things" bla bla bla)... fixing my grammer, telling me to be quiet at times, etc.

In the search for things, I bought a book called "If You Had Controlling Parents". Interestingly enough, there a portion of it on speech (just by luck). Something in the line of "your speech might even be affected".

I am still reading this book and although I don't think it's a solution to the stuttering, it's nice to revisit your past and realize why you some of the things you do.

I was always trying to impress people, be the best and not necessarily myself. Sounds similar to your story and I've been linking these things to my stuttering as well.

[Jonte]

Thanks for sharing that Jonte - just out of interest, how do you get on with the twins now?

We have a pretty shallow relation. They are 17 and I'm 22 and we never spend time together unless I visit their home for dinner or some errands. I guess it depends alot on me since I'm their bigger brother and I'm supposed to take the initiative of doing things. But I feel uncomfortable living up to the expectations of an older brother, probably because of my lack of selfconfidence. If I didn't stutter, I think all this would be different, sad but true. My family dosn't work as a "safe-zone" for me at all since I for some reason always wanna impress them. I have no idea of why I have this need, because they are very loving and understaning and have always been. I guess its all in my mind.

I haven't yet heard of anyone becoming fluent after having a car crash. Shame. Might be an expensive but easy-fix soultion! Have you heard of anyone tried? If you dont try you'll never find out ;)

Nah, just kidding.

[Jonte]

I think my stuttering started just around the same time my parents use to lock me in the closet without food or water for weeks at a time. I'm not sure if it was that or all the duct tape they placed over my mouth so that the neighbors wouldn't hear me screaming and yelling. Either way, I think what also affected me was all the Nyquil they gave me to make me pass out.

However, I am not sure if all this had anything to do with it. Perhaps it was the fact that I was molested at the age of 13 by the hot, y, 17-year old cheerleader that live next to my house. :D

Suddenly I lost all my respect for you AGOFCR.

Is this supposed to be funny? Do you think that the fact that I'm not as comfortable with my speech as you are with yours give you any right to make fun of my situation? I suspect that that is not the reason why this was founded, no matter how recognized you are on this board.

I'm a big time closet-stutter, take your time read shit about it (there are several texts about it on this board) and you'll find out that is a quite ing horrible situation to be in, even though we can hide it very, very, very well.

I'll go on on this journey without this forum from now on, I didn't joined it to get responses like that of my shared thaughts.

Take care comprades...

[bignick]

Jonte,

I have heard that before that a major event change in your life brings on a stutter.
Have you thought about discussing your feelings with your family, to see if they can clear any misunderstandings you have when the twins were born.
If you dont mind me asking, you seem to be angry with the world and yourself that you stutter. You are still only 22 and I cant imagine what a ing horrible situation you are in because you are a closet stutterer and I have never been one, but as I have said many a time, you handle your stutter the best way you feel happiest.
I am sorry if you want to leave the forum because of someones sense of humour but once again you have to do what makes you happiest.
As you get older, you have a different outlook on life and some of us dont take life so serious and handle life differently.

I hope to still see you around the forum.

Nick

[claragazza]

I do not recall any event triggering my stutter. Actually, I think I started stutter much before any event I recall. So possibly there is a trigering event I do not even remember, and possibly there is nothing.

I suspect that stutterers are more or less genetically biased towards stuttering and lots of outside events make this more or less apparent (OK, this is my theory and it is far from being scientific)

[Standingtall]

Jonte,

I use to be an closet stutter too and it took me a while to come out and join the world. I am not ever going back, no matter how bad my stutter gets. If you need to pack up your ball and go play in another playground, that is your choice and we will respect your wish. I have been around many moons and it took me awhile to develop my sense of humor, and now I can joke around about my stutter and not feel sensitive. There is healing in humor and a lot of the older guys, not saying any names, understand this and we are trying to teach the younger generations, life is not all serious. I was physically abused by my mother and my parents ended in a bitter divorce. We started in my mother's care and was moved to my Dad's after social service found us alone in the house. I'm the oldest and the only one that stutters, including my half brothers and sisters. I didn't know I stuttered until an teacher pointed that one in class one day, and I was never the same. My late dad and grandmother never made an issue of it, so I didn't until that teacher made an issue out of it. Well, that is my story, and I hope you understand some of us old guys on this forum and our sense of humor.

[RadiatorRT]

i too can trace it back to a couple of events involving physical abuse in the home and my mother always correcting me and trying to tell me how i should walk, talk, speak and act in a sense i just wasnt able to express myself and be me. this is where i think my stutter came from, as well as my father doing the same thing. I dont blame them though, but im a little bit angry...who wouldnt be.

-Jack

[Jeff99]

i think that i might be in the same boat i asked my parents when i started stuttering last night they said when i was about 4 the around the same time as my twin brother an sister were born. up til then it was just me my sister an brother we were all kinda different an got alot of attention but then twins were born mum said about 3 months after they were born it started, i'm not blaming that lack of attention started it but it's a interesting fact i honestly don't remember much of my child hood before i was like 12 or somthing like that

[happy7117]

i think that i might be in the same boat i asked my parents when i started stuttering last night they said when i was about 4 the around the same time as my twin brother an sister were born. up til then it was just me my sister an brother we were all kinda different an got alot of attention but then twins were born mum said about 3 months after they were born it started, i'm not blaming that lack of attention started it but it's a interesting fact i honestly don't remember much of my child hood before i was like 12 or somthing like that

It is known that stuttering could be caused by some sort of stressfull event early in a child's life. Or some sort of traumatic experience could be the cause of the start of stuttering in some.

Perhaps it was the idea that 2 new children would be coming into the family is what set off the stuttering. Perhaps new family members entrance into the world is a grand thing, but with the grandness of a new family member comes stress with dealing with siblings. Perhaps the birth of a new baby is a time of stress that could cause stuttering.

That is just my thought though.........

[FutureSLP123]

I think stuttering is physiological. My father stuttered and I do as well. Thus, I think it's also hereditary. I really don't think it has anything to do with psychological issues because I know of many people who had much worse lives than any of us can ever dream of and they do not have any speech impediment at all. I'm a psych major currently and planning on going to grad school for speech language pathology. In my courses and research, I'm learning that many cases are hereditary and research shows our brains work differently during speech production than non-stutterers.

[FutureSLP123]

It is known that stuttering could be caused by some sort of stressfull event early in a child's life. Or some sort of traumatic experience could be the cause of the start of stuttering in some.

Perhaps it was the idea that 2 new children would be coming into the family is what set off the stuttering. Perhaps new family members entrance into the world is a grand thing, but with the grandness of a new family member comes stress with dealing with siblings. Perhaps the birth of a new baby is a time of stress that could cause stuttering.

That is just my thought though.........

I have heard that a stressful childhood event also causes it but this is not the case. When the field of speech pathology first began, many researchers (who did not stutter thus did not know what we really experienced) published numerous articles cling that stuttering is all psychological. Some went even as far to say that people stutter because they want to stand out from the rest of the world. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think ANY of us would ever want to stand out in such a negative and embarrassing way.... Thus, these early researchers were all WRONG. Later Charles Van Riper and other stutterers started conducting researching of their own and found that stuttering is not caused by subconscious psychological feelings of wanting attention. These stuttering researchers dedicated their lives and careers to finding more accurate information about stuttering. This only proves that stutterers should be the ones going into the field to explain and educate others about stuttering because other people have no idea what it feels like and they have been very wrong in the past (for example some in the past assumed that stutterers have demons inside them or are mentally retarded). It's up to us to educate others who do not stutter about the REAL facts regarding stuttering and the common misconceptions. Has anyone else heard of the studies that showed we use our other side of the brain to speak instead of the "normal" side like other people do?

[CoreThrasherGLB]

QUOTE FROM Jonte;5799 "Like a conflict between my subconscious mind and my conscious mind."


Hit the nail on the head with the conflict between the conscious and subconscious mind. Part of the Stuttering Hexagon after all is conflicting intentions. Personally, I feel people who stutter such as myself have conflicting intentions BIG time.

It sounds to me like when you started to receive a significantly lower amount of attention you began to feel like you needed to perform in life and try to please others more. You may have even felt like you have too many imperfections, subconsciously you may have come to believe that people won't pay attention to you if you have too many flaws. That hat fear of being imperfect may have manifested itself into the way you express yourself with your speech. Does that sound something like what you were thinking?