Going through a rough patch right now

[Sulligogs]

Hi all. Been a while since I last logged on.

Going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment. I work in an office block and over the past several months I have been rather introvert and exclusive to the people around me.

At the same time my girlfriend has been at University where we only see each other every couple of weeks or so. I guess during those times I had become more lonely as a rather beautiful girl at work was continuosly catching my eye. The trouble was she had noticed my looking at her and really I should have befriended her there and then, just to settle the air that I wasn't actually chasing her. Unfortunately, my periodic stuttering mania had resurfaced it's head and I knew that I couldn't handle stuttering infront of her. I just couldn't go through with it at that time.

Now, several months on, my girlfriend has been back at home, but with several attempts from both myself and the girl to actually "speak" like grown-up adults has consistently ended up a disaster because of all of the classic guilty feelings that have been building up inside of me. I just cannot communicate with this girl. I feel it has gone beyond the point of no return because there can be no way she will ever have any trust in me. She rightfully probably thinks that I am a creep who is perverted over her and I cannot blame her because I have been useless in resolving this ridiculous situation.

Anyway, I think I just had to write this down for others to read. Maybe in ten years time when I've moved on I'll read this and have a good chuckle to myself.

Thanks for reading.

[Dan134056]

Maybe you can write her an e-mail.

Anyways, a lot of people get nervous in front of beautiful women or people of the opposite . Just calm down and let her know how you feel. It doesn't matter if you screw up or seem like a fool in front of her. Afterall, the one you really care for is the one you already have right?

[Sulligogs]

Thanks Dan.

Of course I care for my girlfriend. Can't imagine life without her. We've been together for three years.

The trouble is Dan I'm fed up. By all means I can write her a note and pop it on her desk and everything MIGHT be honky-doory afterwards. But, what if she rejects my explaination? What if she feels even more awkward than before? Can't I have friendships with girls these days??? And after this girl, who's next? Don't want to keep on writing notes to them explaining what's happening with me.

I know, I know. Pull my socks up and all that. Grrrr! Just a tad bit frustrated, can't you tell?

Thanks anyway for the advice.

[Dan134056]

Sulligogs,

I understand how you feel -- the frustration of being locked inside yourself b/c of some speech impediment.

And although i'm only a mild stutterer, a simple phone call completely freaks me out; well at least it used to.

Being actively involved in the businessworld, I've learned I cannot continue a normal career life without breaking this fear. Everyone has a fear for something -- height, reptiles, death. In our case, I believe it's the fear breaking up in the middle of our speech.

Although I cannot say I'm completely cured, I can say i've improved quite a bit. How did i do it? I tackled the problem vigorously. The famous businessman and speaker Zig Ziglar once said something along the lines of if you can break the fear of rejection, you can break the barrier to success. Sure, you will feel rejected a lot of times -- especially on your first trials. But hey - trial and error gives you learning experiences.

In your case, I think you should begin talking to women - just any women. Doesn't matter what they think, don't take it so hard on yourself if they reject you. Just talk to them. You learn from mistakes. You articulate better. you'll see some kind of improvement.

Anyways give it a shot. It won't hurt that much to try.

[Asif]

Does it matter how she feels about you?
How do YOU feel about you?
You are what you are and how you are. There's no changing it by appearing to be anything else.
Smile at her and shrug. Be the best you can be.
It's REALLY not a problem :)