Feels like I'm losing it

[Sulligogs]

Hey everyone,

I haven't been on here in a long time, but I need to get some stuff off my chest.

I left a tedious, but well paid job in the bank nearly a year ago to chase my life-long dream of "computer" work. I moved to a warehouse where we refurbish old PCs and hardware. Trouble is I and many others are still temps there and there's a big feeling that we'll be shown the door due to a lack of incoming work. We feel this way because the management truly look at us like something that they've trod in. We can't smoke at the front of the building where they do and they've slashed our weekend overtime pay to basic rate. Yet they still expect "a positive attitude at work". Go and sit on one.

So, I've been applying desperately for other "computer" work and today I went for a job interview as a 1st Line IT Support technician. Essentially, I would have to take calls on IT problems and if possible sort them out ASAP otherwise escalate them onto a more knowledgeable support team. How did the interview go? It wasn't bad I suppose and I find out at the end of the week what the verdict is. I tend to stutter with blocks and loads of "erms...erms....erms". I think my sutter changed when I left school and that was when the blocks and "erms" came about, maybe in a desperate bid to stop stuttering.

Anyway, just been to my girlfriend's and I swear I nearly turned into a full blown monster. I kept on correcting her on her grammar and when she asked me to get a wasp out of the room I blew my lid and stormed out back to my own flat. What was that for??? Okay, it was pent up frustration, but for heaven's sake don't let me lose her as well.

I feel like the walls are coming in on me. I hate the management in my current job and feel that perhaps at the age of 30 I shouldn't be chasing my dreams anymore. I can't afford to start brand new work because you have to start on brand new wages and man, this past year, I have felt the pinch of the lower income. What if all those years ago I had the mind of what I have now? Would I have let that stupid stutter lead me into a line of depressing jobs? I just will never work myself out.

I feel like I'm cracking up and turning into a seriously grumply old man before my time. I bet a lot of people would say I've been less fun recently. Sometimes I can't even stand the sound of my own back-to-front voice anymore.

Anyway, there was probably a load of other stuff I wanted to pity myself for, but typing this up has sort of let it pass. Oh well, back to work tomorrow.

Sulligogs

[TOTELA]

I am 30 too, and I stutter. I have felt a strong conection with all the things that you have mentioned. Sometimes I feel frustrated, and I get angry with the world, and with the people I love most. I guess that´s not a good path. Well, I suppose that we will have to be strong and keep going ahead. Life is never easy, and less for us. :(

[Standingtall]

I had a few of those days, the wife and kids get yelled at and the dog gets kicked and I was also on the recieving end too. Thanks for sharing your frustrations. I say, don't give up your dreams. If life was easy, we wouldn't have dreams, we won't feel the thrill of Victory. You seen an challange and you took it. There is nothing wrong with that. Sorry to hear it is not going the way you like. Let us know how your interview results went.

[bignick]

Sulligogs,

Dont give up your dream, if this job isnt offered to you, then move on and try a different company. I do a similar job you have applied for, systems manager, dealing with user problems each and every day along with customer presentations. Yes I stuttered when I had my 2 interviews, yes I stutter sometimes when I am on the phone and yes I stutter when I give presentations to customers, but that doesnt matter because I was offered the job and I asked if my stutter was a problem and I was told that if I had the skills and knowledge then it doesnt matter.
I would hope I help people with their problems on the phone, sometimes it takes longer than it should but the end result is the same.

Dont be so hard on yourself , we all have those moments when we want to blow up.
You have a lot going for you and I hope you achieve what you set out to do in life.

Nick

[Sulligogs]

Cheers guys!

I am pleased to hear about you bignick. You've brought a smirk to my face. So thank you!

And Standingtall, ain't life a b****! Think I've kicked a few walls been that frustrated.

As for the job - nah I didn't get it. But, it was really strange when halfway through the interview I asked a couple of questions of my own. One of them was about the bulk of calls that they recievied and when they answered it was mainly "password resets" and "printer problems" a sense of relief came right over me. How easy is that job??!!! I could do that with my eyes closed for heavens sake! I did relax a lot more after that, but still somebody better got the job.

Nevermind.

I'll keep on applying for these positions because it's more money than what I'm doing and it seems to be half the work. My current workplace is like a prison and if they weren't yelling at getting the full 7 1/2 hours out of us then it would be funny.

I'll keep on applying for the positions and post you all from time to time.

Power to the people,

Sulligogs!

[Standingtall]

Sorry to hear that you didn't get that job. The point of the whole thing is your being pro-active in getting an new job. Good luck with your search.

[bignick]

Cheers guys!

I am pleased to hear about you bignick. You've brought a smirk to my face. So thank you!

And Standingtall, ain't life a b****! Think I've kicked a few walls been that frustrated.

As for the job - nah I didn't get it. But, it was really strange when halfway through the interview I asked a couple of questions of my own. One of them was about the bulk of calls that they recievied and when they answered it was mainly "password resets" and "printer problems" a sense of relief came right over me. How easy is that job??!!! I could do that with my eyes closed for heavens sake! I did relax a lot more after that, but still somebody better got the job.

Nevermind.

I'll keep on applying for these positions because it's more money than what I'm doing and it seems to be half the work. My current workplace is like a prison and if they weren't yelling at getting the full 7 1/2 hours out of us then it would be funny.

I'll keep on applying for the positions and post you all from time to time.

Power to the people,

Sulligogs!

Pleased I could bring a smirk to your face.

Dont give up on getting a better job, one will come along.

Nick