How should a listener be patient with a stutterer who virtualy cannot talk??

[happy7117]

I cannot think of a more frusterating or terrifying situation in which a stutter is so extreme that one has facial bobs and grimaces, and just cannot speak right at all...

And the listener is advised to be patient, but what if the stutterer is so extremely severe with facial grimaces??

Truly frightening, shouldnt the listener stop being patient in an extremely severe stutter case, and help the person???

Like me, I just could not get stuff out, and was so desperate to move the conversation along, yet the
listener was not saying anything and being patient as they were to be advised..but boy, I just felt like YELLING, "STOP MAKING ME STRUGGLE AND HELP ME BY FILLING HELPING ME MOVE THI CONVERSTAION ALONG!!!!"

Nasty!!

[Standingtall]

Adam, I feel for you. Just be careful, because most people will not have the patients or the time, helping you to fill in the words. good luck my friend.

[LovinTheSurf]

I wouldnt call my stutter severe, if I had to try and talk to that guy who was on the youtube video posted around here somewhere.. I just couldnt do it - it'd drive me nuts!

[happy7117]

Adam, I feel for you. Just be careful, because most people will not have the patients or the time, helping you to fill in the words. good luck my friend.

Exactly!! Many people do not have the patience or the time listening to a stutterer because it makes them a nervous wreck and uncomfortable!! I don't blame them because it is definately feels uncomfortable hearing a person speak with so many stoppages and pauses and such...

And if they do not fill in words to help us and just walk away, I don't think they do that to be rude..I think they do that because they are clearly uncomfortable hearing us..it's not the person who walks away that makes us feel like dirt!!!!

It's the stuttering itself that caused the person to walk away in the first place that makes us feel like dirt!!

Would the person walk away if we were fluent?? Probably not because they would be very comfortable and relaxed hearing us....

But what if that same person walked away if we were disfluent?

Probably because hearing strange speech is nerve-wracking and out of the norm....

So it's not the person's fault for walking away as we are stuttering..

It's the stuttering itself's fault that causes the person to walk away!!!

If that same person heard us fluent, would we still not like him if he walked away when we dysfluent!!

[happy7117]

I wouldnt call my stutter severe, if I had to try and talk to that guy who was on the youtube video posted around here somewhere.. I just couldnt do it - it'd drive me nuts!

Have you not seen that YouTube video you mentioned?? It's not pleasent, but it's insitefull!!

Indeed if I had to talk to that guy, I would not know what to do...

I would be patient, but after some solid patience at waiting for him, I would give up, and kindly make up an excuse to hang up the phone..

It would not be to be rude, but it would be because it would be darn frusterating and freaky...

I'm surprised that lady on the other end kept her cool
throughout...!!

She seemed to want to help him, but I would have gladly accepted the help if I was him....

Any other person would have hung up, and not given him the time of day...

That guy should be greatful the lady did not lose it while listening to him!!

If there were any very extreme stutterings out there, he would take the cake!

[Standingtall]

It's the stuttering itself that caused the person to walk away in the first place that makes us feel like dirt!!

Adam, I have to disagree on you with this one. It is not the stutter that makes a person walks away. There are many reasons and I gave you two, no patients or time. The person with no patients its their problem, not yours. The person with no time, well you don't want to waste time when someone doesn't want to waste their time on you. That is not your fault or your stutter. Some people are not taught manners and that is not your fault. I had people walk away because I was boring. I was fine talking but the subject didn't interest them and they moved on. I have done it.

I have heard people with worst stutter than my own and I have asked them on a few occasions, 'okay, let me see if I heard you right'. It works for non-stutters too. They know you are listening and they open up more.

Adam, don't worry too much what other people think about your stutter. Try you might, but you are not going to please everybody. Even if you are fluent, if they are not interested in what you have to say, they will walk away anyway.

[cherokeeprinces]

Good Point and the guy on youtube atleast he had the courage to make the call even though he knew he would really struggle and I find it sad that the woman on the other end of that call was so rude to him. I have heard with my very own ears stutterers who were both mild and or quite severe and I kept my patience with them and I was very understanding and I am not in the same boat as most of you but I have learned to understand and accept that not everyone is goign to be 100% there are times where as a fluent person even I do not feel like talking and sometimes even I get caught up on what I am trying to say but when I talk to my friends who stutter I give them the upmost respect and listen and then if I have nay questions or doubts about hearing something right I will ask as politely as possible if I heard them correctly without making them feel even more uncomfortable than they already were to begin with. I know you all may disagree with me considering I am a non stutterer but believe me I have friends who have shown me through their very own eyes just what they feel and go through and it has made me a more understanding person

[happy7117]

Adam, I have to disagree on you with this one. It is not the stutter that makes a person walks away. There are many reasons and I gave you two, no patients or time. The person with no patients its their problem, not yours. The person with no time, well you don't want to waste time when someone doesn't want to waste their time on you. That is not your fault or your stutter. Some people are not taught manners and that is not your fault. I had people walk away because I was boring. I was fine talking but the subject didn't interest them and they moved on. I have done it.

I have heard people with worst stutter than my own and I have asked them on a few occasions, 'okay, let me see if I heard you right'. It works for non-stutters too. They know you are listening and they open up more.

Adam, don't worry too much what other people think about your stutter. Try you might, but you are not going to please everybody. Even if you are fluent, if they are not interested in what you have to say, they will walk away anyway.

I think I see what your saying. Whether a person stutters or not, a listener may walk away because he or she is bored and does not feel like listening to you...that is rude!!

[happy7117]

Good Point and the guy on youtube atleast he had the courage to make the call even though he knew he would really struggle and I find it sad that the woman on the other end of that call was so rude to him. I have heard with my very own ears stutterers who were both mild and or quite severe and I kept my patience with them and I was very understanding and I am not in the same boat as most of you but I have learned to understand and accept that not everyone is goign to be 100% there are times where as a fluent person even I do not feel like talking and sometimes even I get caught up on what I am trying to say but when I talk to my friends who stutter I give them the upmost respect and listen and then if I have nay questions or doubts about hearing something right I will ask as politely as possible if I heard them correctly without making them feel even more uncomfortable than they already were to begin with. I know you all may disagree with me considering I am a non stutterer but believe me I have friends who have shown me through their very own eyes just what they feel and go through and it has made me a more understanding person

That's what makes him great--the guy has guts!! But I have a weird question:: How was the lady rude?? I thought the lady was trying to help him...one of her lines in the phone call is, "Is there someone who can talk for you?" I thought she was just trying to make it easier by having someone who could get the info for him from a person who is fluent...or probably her reactions were because she never dealt with a stutter that bad, and did not know how to react...

[LovinTheSurf]

Have you not seen that YouTube video you mentioned?? It's not pleasent, but it's insitefull!!

Indeed if I had to talk to that guy, I would not know what to do...

I would be patient, but after some solid patience at waiting for him, I would give up, and kindly make up an excuse to hang up the phone..

It would not be to be rude, but it would be because it would be darn frusterating and freaky...

I'm surprised that lady on the other end kept her cool
throughout...!!

She seemed to want to help him, but I would have gladly accepted the help if I was him....

Any other person would have hung up, and not given him the time of day...

That guy should be greatful the lady did not lose it while listening to him!!

If there were any very extreme stutterings out there, he would take the cake!


i agree dude... all the guys i speak to on the fone seem to accept it as part of their job and put up with my burblings. they dont go on for too long, thankfully! :D (me, not them heheheeh)

[Standingtall]

I think I see what your saying. Whether a person stutters or not, a listener may walk away because he or she is bored and does not feel like listening to you...that is rude!!
LIke I said before, some people were not taught manners. A few people may get uncomforable with your stutter and may run away and hide, than dealing with it. Your stutter can trigger an honest reaction in our people and you can judge them by it.

[Bud]

I answered the phone one time when one of our son's friends called. He would do fine when our son answered the phone, but couldn't speak when I answered. I could hear the throaty sounds of someone trying to talk, and knowing that several of my son's friends stuttered, figured it was one of them. Not wanting to leave the phone to get our son, I said "I'm not going to hang up on you; I'll wait for you." It wasn't long until he said, "Can I please speak to Robert?" I said "sure" and asked who I could say was calling. He stuttered a little on his name, but at least didn't block like he did when I answered the phone. I made some comment like "good to chat with you" and got our son, but the next time Matthew called and I answered the phone, and the times he came to our house, he didn't stutter around me. I never asked, but according to uncles who stutter, just knowing that the other person won't hang up on you or that they will wait for you helps them to relax and be able to speak more fluently.

Bud

[bignick]

I answered the phone one time when one of our son's friends called. He would do fine when our son answered the phone, but couldn't speak when I answered. I could hear the throaty sounds of someone trying to talk, and knowing that several of my son's friends stuttered, figured it was one of them. Not wanting to leave the phone to get our son, I said "I'm not going to hang up on you; I'll wait for you." It wasn't long until he said, "Can I please speak to Robert?" I said "sure" and asked who I could say was calling. He stuttered a little on his name, but at least didn't block like he did when I answered the phone. I made some comment like "good to chat with you" and got our son, but the next time Matthew called and I answered the phone, and the times he came to our house, he didn't stutter around me. I never asked, but according to uncles who stutter, just knowing that the other person won't hang up on you or that they will wait for you helps them to relax and be able to speak more fluently.

Bud

Bud,

Thats pretty cool you saying that, I have never thought of saying that if I have been speaking to someone who stutters on the phone.