what r your top 3 worst experiences with stuttering?

[nbakunda]

what r your top three worst stuttering experiences. please purge as much as possible. for me:
1. when i was in prep school, our reading teacher used to do these reading rounds every tuesday. we'd each read a paragraph in order, so that everyone would get a chance. she'd always start with the kis st the door and work her way down the rows. we'd stop when everyone had read and then continue again the following tuesday. i would be so paranoid that i'd estimate where we'd be when she got to me and memorise the entire page trying to practice so that noone would laugh at me. sometimes if i thought that the paragraph was too long i'd fret until the whole of tuesday morning i'd throw up. Nerves of the highest order! well one day it was my turn and the the paragraph was so short but it started with "perplexed he..." it took me all of 5 minutes to realise nothing would copme out and in the process everyone fell about laughing. Even the teacher. i nearly killed my self that day, wanted to jump the fence and run onto the highway! i still remeber like it was yesterday.
2. just last week i went to my Girlfriends house and her father insisted we read form the bible. at dinner the guest picks a random page and verse and then read it instead of saying grace. she had told me about it so i felt i was reasonably prepared in case i was asked.
the first time i opened it was chronicles, i was hoping for acts. so i went to the begining hoping for numbers, i got deuteronomy, i saw a word there like pomegranates and just allowed the pages to slip. everyone was looking at me and i had done so well in the beginning when we met. so i tried again and landed in Eclesiastes, then leviticus and then corinthians and then chronicles again and i was already sweating. everyone was wondering what was up. Niki was studiously ignoring me which was making everything worse. all of a sudden all those feelings of inadequacy flooded back. you must be wondering why i didnt just browse. Panic :eek:
so i decided on Thessalonians! Just that took a minute and a half, then the verse began in earnest with "Brothers..." her father had to then walk over to my side and read with me in CHORUs or something and though i still stuttered a fair bit in ended. all that nice food went to waste, i was so embarrased and stressed out i couldnt eat. i'm over it but i needed to share it. !!!
3. i dont know what to put here yet, i'm exhausted with just the memories of those two. :o
nate

[Standingtall]

Okay, mine is the first day I learned I stutter.

1. I was asked an couple of times, why I spoke funny, and I gave them stupid answers and stuff. Not knowing what they were refering to. So, one day at the beginning of school year, new teacher and a lot of students liked this guy. I wanted to impress him and when I finished my school work, I took it up to him and told him. Stuttered, "I'm done" and he stopped writing, looked up and said. What did you say? I told him, Stuttering, 'I'm done'. After the third time, he finally said. "in the White School, they will never stand for your stutter, they will give you the strap". I was crying my heart out by the time I got to my desk. Nobody was looking at me and I really wanted to die right there. I was no longer the jokester in the class room, kept quiet when bully's come around and picked on me.

2. talking to authority figures, like teachers, supervisors, policemen, etc. I was picked up once, out on a date with my future wife, had supper and went to the club for some dancing. Walked in, sat down and then two officers, walked up to me and placed me under arrest. I looked like the person that robbed an store, not more than an hour ago. In handcuffs and trying to explain myself and heard the other officer talking on their radio, saying they got an suspect and he is intoxicated. They took me to the scene of the crime and was not the one, they said sorry and took me back to the club. I order an pitcher of beer and like my Hero, Lovinthesurf, I finished that pitcher right there and order another.

3. When I get emoitonal, like telling someone, I love them and how much they mean to me. I don't know about the rest of you, but this really makes me block and stutter big time. Maybe, because so many years, I closed myself off, not showing emotions and stuff. I once gave an speach at a dear friend's service, and I had a lot of women crying.

Well, that is my three, not very specific to an specific event or time.

[LovinTheSurf]

ooooooh! I got a mention!!! :chuffed:

[Gary1450]

I had numerous nightmarish experiences in the Army and as a college student - mostly just trying to say my name or rank.

[Gary1450]

I was 13-B - Field Artillery

When I was in basic training, before we could enter the chow hall, we had to shout out the last four digits of our Social Security # and what branch were.

I never knew why they did this. Anyway I stuttered everytime, everytime - 3 times a day.

I suffered the worst humiliation during those 4 months.

[happy7117]

Yeah, my biggest fear was in bootcamp. I went to Parris Island (spent my fisrt four years in the Corps) I was terrified to respond to the Drill Instructors becasue I knew they would tear me up due to my stutter. I went in 1984 and back then there was no EO/EEO, Consideration of Others, or Political Correcteness and the DIs had no mercy for anyone.

Luckily I did not have to talk much other than the usual "Oorah" phrase, grunts, and yells once in a while.

Peace,

Elliott

I knew they would tear me up due to my stutter

Sorry if this sounds like a foolish question, but what does is it mean "they would tear you up because you stuter"??

How can anyone tear anyone apart!!! People are not paper, so they cannot be ripped or torn apart!!

Sorry if it sounds foolish!!

[Standingtall]

The military sounds like one big bully but then again, it is not that rosey outside of the military. The military is a lot more controlled enviroment than non-military, but I guess it is a way to learn an career. I can see where you get that no-nonsense look, Elliott.

[cherokeeprinces]

Elliott has the you even say one word about how I talk and my gun and my boot will be placed in a very highly sensitve area

[happy7117]

The term "tear me/you up" is widely used in the military although I have heard civilians making such reference. In this case "getting torn up" by the drill instructors means to be repeatedly dropped (to do push-ups or any other type of strenuous physical extra curricular activities) or mocked. Why? You might asked . . . Because that's what drill instructors (or drill sergeants in the Army) do just for kicks.

My drill instructors would latch on to any and every weakness or oddity displayed by any of my platoon members and would exploit it, using it as a tool to weed out the weak hearted/minded recruits in order to keep only the strong-willed ones.

It is by means of physical and mental weakness that the armed forces weed out those not cut out to wear the uniform. In my case, I know the DI's would have dogged me everyday thus causing me a lot of discomfort because back then (at 18) I did not have the level of self confidence I have now.

Hope this explains the concept.

Peace,

Elliott

That's horrible and brutal treatment..Can't someone who gets treated like that in the army or military drop out or just leave..I would!!!

Having someone exploit my weaknesses to punish me and make me feel like dirt I would not tolerate, and if it was in the military I would find a way to get out...

As Standingtall stated, Army sounds like a nest of bullies ready to pounce on anyone who is flawed...it's a good thing when those recruiters used to call me near the end of high school I would have my mom talk to him saying the complete oppsite of what I am so I would not have to join..she said I am a retarded person who is unable to follow simple directions...which was and is entirely not true, but it worked....

He never called back, and if a recruiter ever called me to ever join the army, I would give a polite excuse why I can't talk on the phone at the moment, and hang up....and just avoid calls from army recruiters....

No one should be bullied especialy from those in the military who think they are way more powerfull which in a way they are!!

[happy7117]

I guess you did not get the gist or the concept of my post. The military does not treat anybody in a demeaning or derogatory manner nor do they abuse any type of power. If you read my post I refer to boot camp (or basic training, depending of the service) not to life in the armed forces. I am 100% in agreement with boot camp being conducted in such a manner . . . After all, it is designed to weed out the weak and keep the strong. We are not a boys club nor are we the boy scouts. If anyone aspires to belong to this “club” he or she needs to graduate basic training. We just don't "give out" uniforms to all those who want to join. There is a process and applicants need to prove themselves before earning the title Marine, Soldier, Airman, or Sailor. These titles are earned not given.

So, if boot camp is one big physical and psychological game so be it. Not everyone is cut out to wear a uniform . . . Not everyone is deserving of such titles.

Now in response to your question, no the military treats no one like you think (and I emphasize think since you have no fundamental base for your statement). The military is the largest organization and one of the few in the United States that is ruled by both the Uniform Code of Military Justice and the Joints Ethics Code. Hence the reason we are always in the top five professions of every and any survey effected in the U.S.

Boot camp (or basic training) is not life in the military . . . It is only the initial military training that all those who want to "join the club" need to successfully complete in order to gain acceptance. Not every one possesses the mettle to belong!!!

Peace,

Elliott
The military does not treat anybody in a demeaning or derogatory manner nor do they abuse any type of power.

So why did those drill instructors lash out because of your stutter as you said in your previous post???

[happy7117]

Now I understand!! I guess me not knowing what the army is like makes me have a whole lot of questions on how they treat a person...!!! Still, your a tough guy for enduring it all!!!

[happy7117]

I got you. Many people still have the concept of the 1950s Army; but that's long gone. Now it's all about consideration of others and all the other "touchy-feely" B.S. The worse thing is only basic training and it is only the first 9 weeks of your life as a Soldier. I've been doing this for 22 years and I do not regret any thing I've done so far. This is a job like any other job . . . Only difference is that we volunteer to be in harms way!!! Other than that, we provide a service just like police officer, firefighters, teachers, etc . . . We are also public servants. It's just that me make our selection process a little bit harder than the normal public servants do :D

Peace,

Elliott

Some of my post comes from watching alot of that Maury Povich stuff..there are segments, well there were segments where kids went to boot camp to get attitude adjustments!! These drill sergents were screaming at them, and scaring the crap outta them, and the kids were crying and they had to get up at like 4AM in the morning to do work...or like physical tasks...after they came home from the boot camp they were changed kids towards their parents..!! And that's how I always imagined what boot camp or military is like.....!!! Also there was alot of "mam, yes mam!" and "sir, no, sir!" on the show!!!

Is that said to those drill sergents in real life?? And all that court martial stuff!!

As a matter a fact, I'm getting into this...!!! Do they really go by last names in the military?? And why do they???

And why is it, everything has to be screamed at!! Surely one would have to have a hourse voice!!!

And what happens if a person refuses to do what one of those drill sergents tell them to do???

My uncle was in the Vietnam, but I really never asked him about it... I was not sure if he was lying or not!! As a matter of fact you or him could be guest speakers in a history class!!

[Standingtall]

I guess getting an uniform is out of the question, oh well, of to the surplus store. I'll stay away from that Elvis outfit. Shivers.

[happy7117]

I will address your questions one by one:

Happy: “Some of my post comes from watching alot of that Maury Povich
Stuff”

AGOFCR: That’s the first and biggest problem . . . You are gathering your “knowledge” from (what is known as) Trash TV. If you watch the History Channel and the Discovery Channel they have very good (and truthful) documentaries about the Armed Forces to include it’s boot camp.


Happy: “there are segments, well there were segments where kids went to boot camp to get attitude adjustments!!

AGOFCR: These so called “boot camps” are for kids with behavioral issues who are sent there by the judge or desperate parents . . . Not the same as the boot camp in the Armed Forces. This is an all-volunteer service and there’s an end to the means; to prepare applicants for military service.

Happy: “These drill sergents were screaming at them, and scaring the crap outta them, and the kids were crying and they had to get up at like 4AM in the morning to do work...or like physical tasks...after they came home from the boot camp they were changed kids towards their parents..!!

AGOFCR: Physical tasks create character the rest of the screaming and hollering is part of their (and I emphasize “their”) scare tactics to break the kids away from their bad behavior patterns.

Happy: “And that's how I always imagined what boot camp or military is
like.....!!! Also there was alot of "mam, yes mam!" and "sir, no, sir!" on the show!! Is that said to those drill sergents in real life??!”

AGOFCR: Sorry to tell you, but “yes ma’am”/”No ma’am” and “yes sir/no sir” are a sign of respect. I respond to my parents, my boss, my uncles, my aunts, my grandparents, and any else who is at least one (1) year older than me in that manner; and I expect my kids to do so also. It is basic Respect 101 that you should have learned in your house and practiced it everywhere else. It has nothing to do with the military.

Happy: “And all that court martial stuff!!”

AGOFCR: Young Pawadan that is what makes the military great . . . It’s called the Uniform Code of Military Justice and the Joint Ethics Regulation. You see, civilians get away with a lot of things that folks in the military cannot. For this reason the military has its own set of rules, regulations, and policies that expects and demands higher standards from us.

Happy: :As a matter a fact, I'm getting intop this...!!! Do they realy go by
last names in the military?? And why do they???”

AGOFCR: No, we do not go by last name. It is an insult and against regulations to call anyone by their last name. The only approved form of addressing people is by rank and last name. For example: Sergeant Smith, Captain Jones, General Joe, etc. Why? Well, thousands of other jobs do it as well; Officer Meyer (Police Officer), Judge Jackson, Doctor Mann, Mail Carrier Jeffers, Investigator Black, etc, etc, etc.

Happy: “And why is it, everything has to be screamed at!! Surely one would have to have a horse voice!!!”

AGOFCR: Because the drill sergeant’s job is to break down the weak. You’ll be surprise how many people are washed out of boot camp just because the can’t “handle the pressure”.

Happy: “And what happens if a person refuses to do what one of those drill
sergents tell them to do???”

AGOFCR: What happens when you refuse to do what your mom or dad tells you to do? Once you sign the contract with Uncle Sam and you go to boot camp those drill sergeants become your mom & dad because their job is to take a rough-cut kid from the civilian world and the comfort of their Xbox and turn them into military service members.

Hope this helps.

Peace,

Elliott

Indeed it answers all my thoughts!!!! Although I don't think I have ever addressed my parents as Sir, or Mam because it sounds like I am answering to a stranger when my parents are not strangers..but if it was a stranger I always adress them as Sir, or Mamm cause it's a way to show respect for those one does not know!!!

Not "Hey Dude!, or Hey Big Guy!", that would get one smacked!!

[nbakunda]

Elliot, take a chill pill bro, Happy is really trying to irritate you, and guess what, he's succeeding, NICELY.
good one Hap.
Nate.

[bignick]

Elliot, take a chill pill bro, Happy is really trying to irritate you, and guess what, he's succeeding, NICELY.
good one Hap.
Nate.

Nate,

I dont think he is trying to irritate Elliott, but then again no one in their right mind would...

Nick

[happy7117]

Elliot, take a chill pill bro, Happy is really trying to irritate you, and guess what, he's succeeding, NICELY.
good one Hap.
Nate.

That was not meant to irritate, or to sound y..not to worry there...I just take time to try to understand a post before I respond to it..and sometimes there are posts I can easily understand what the poster is saying...so my last response was not to irritate but to show Elliot I knew what is post meant!!!

[Standingtall]

Elliot, take a chill pill bro, Happy is really trying to irritate you, and guess what, he's succeeding, NICELY.
good one Hap.
Nate.
Good one, Nate, you have a sense of humor.

[happy7117]

I do not agree with you. I think Happy is just misinformed and seeks information to help clarify his doubts.

Indeed I was unclear on what his post meant, so I needed to request further info on what he meant!!! When in doubt, always ask!!!

[happy7117]

Nate,

I dont think he is trying to irritate Elliott, but then again no one in their right mind would...

Nick

Irritating others on a forum is dumb, unnecesary and boring, and mean!!! One is sure to get flamed if they irritate another on a message board like this!!! Then they might lose their message board privaleges to post and respond!!!!

[nbakunda]

ok. SORRY happy, now i know u really needed to know and Elliot needed to tell you. 3 or 4 times. my bad.
nate.
and P.O.T nowadays i've learned something very important and crucial in any heteroual relationship.
1. to nod like i undrstand perfectly
2. to keep quiet until i am positive she has finished whatever she was saying.
3. and to say SORRY like i really mean it.

[happy7117]

ok. SORRY happy, now i know u really needed to know and Elliot needed to tell you. 3 or 4 times. my bad.
nate.
and P.O.T nowadays i've learned something very important and crucial in any heteroual relationship.
1. to nod like i undrstand perfectly
2. to keep quiet until i am positive she has finished whatever she was saying.
3. and to say SORRY like i really mean it.

No problem..

[kestrel]

When I was in Form 4 in High school we had a class called Current Affairs, or words to that effect. The teacher got the bright idea to give us all a subject & we had to give our views on it. As I was sitting in 1 of the front desks; there were 4 rows of 10; he picked me to go first. He generously gave me some time to "gather my thoughts" & sort out what I was going to say. The subject was "Men Flying to the Moon". I can recall that I did not "gather my thoughts", but thought about how I could be fluent through out. I got to the third or fourth word & struck a major block. That was it; all of my fears & anxieties came to the surface. I felt humiliated, embarrassed & totally rejected as the rest of the class put their hands up & started talking over the top of me. The teacher was that insensitive that he did even give me a second thought.

[kestrel]

I feel for you brother :mad:

Although I have had really bad times stammering, I can't really say that any stand out. Maybe I just got on with it, and if I appeared to make a fool of myself, so be it - at least I didn't run away from it.
I can't recall anyone bullying me for long at any time in my life - I been able to handle verbal abuse with just a look, a shrug and ignoring it. Physical abuse I always took so much, and then hit back. And it usually didn't happen twice.
I've never been in situations when I have made speeches in front of work colleagues. School plays were different, but the teachers always pretty much understanding throughout my years; some made me talk in front of everybody, but I realise that it was for my own good.
As Nate said, reading books outloud in class in something I'm sure we all can relate to.
Sorry if this doesn't answer the thread question, but it's the only answer I've got!

You & I are alike in so much as that we have had it fairly easy with our stammer.The rest of the kids didn't really bully me & the teachers didn't put any extra pressure on me. I had only one hard time which I can remember.
My main defence was to become a loner, which has continued to this very day.

[happy7117]

You & I are alike in so much as that we have had it fairly easy with our stammer.The rest of the kids didn't really bully me & the teachers didn't put any extra pressure on me. I had only one hard time which I can remember.
My main defence was to become a loner, which has continued to this very day.

I hate being a loner and by myself, but that's the way my big lack of clear speech forces me to be..stupid stutter...

[happy7117]

The truest words spoken for many a long day Happy7117. Many people disagree with some of your posts, and you disagree with many of their posts, but as you said in one of your posts, we all respect that difference of opinion, and get on well with each other regardless.
I was only asking where you are from because you have a unique turn of phrase with your use of words.

And Nate, looks like you're learning how to keep the peace like we all need to!

you have a unique turn of phrase with your use of words

Maybe I am thick as a brick, but what does the above mean???

Tell me if below is close to what you meant by "I have a unique turn of phrase with my use of words"... :confused:

Maybe the fact I write often to express myself, because the verbal way is such a pain in the butt, that I am able to give thought-out organized answers... :)

Actualy posting on this forum is a great way to get out thoguhts I would be unable to do otherwise... ;)

[kestrel]

I hate being a loner and by myself, but that's the way my big lack of clear speech forces me to be..stupid stutter...

May I relate a story to you about being "A Loner"?
I am a taxi driver & when parked on the rank, other drivers would get out of their cabs & go & talk with other drivers. They would pass me by & go to the next car & start talking. I started to get quite paranoid about this & started to do some "twisted thinking". I analysed the situation & figured out when I got out of my cab, sometimes other drivers would do the same & try & strike up a conversation.
The strangest thing is, I'd rather the status-quo, because of how difficult I sometimes find speaking 1/1! Even today I avoid job break-ups, barbecues, etc; because I know what is going to happen. I'll stand in a corner by myself & be totally ignored by every one. :o This year's Stuttering Awareness theme seems bloody appropriate: "Don't talk about us, talk with us". As a result of being a loner, I've no interpersonal skills what so ever. I have decided to do some work in that area.-"Mixing & Mingling". :rolleyes:- This is going to be fun. :confused: The things we do. But, it has to be done in my quest for fluency.

[happy7117]

May I relate a story to you about being "A Loner"?
I am a taxi driver & when parked on the rank, other drivers would get out of their cabs & go & talk with other drivers. They would pass me by & go to the next car & start talking. I started to get quite paranoid about this & started to do some "twisted thinking". I analysed the situation & figured out when I got out of my cab, sometimes other drivers would do the same & try & strike up a conversation.
The strangest thing is, I'd rather the status-quo, because of how difficult I sometimes find speaking 1/1! Even today I avoid job break-ups, barbecues, etc; because I know what is going to happen. I'll stand in a corner by myself & be totally ignored by every one. :o This year's Stuttering Awareness theme seems bloody appropriate: "Don't talk about us, talk with us". As a result of being a loner, I've no interpersonal skills what so ever. I have decided to do some work in that area.-"Mixing & Mingling". :rolleyes:- This is going to be fun. :confused: The things we do. But, it has to be done in my quest for fluency.

What are interpersonal skills?? Sorry but I never heard that word before...

And why do you stand in the corner at parties?? That does not sound like alot of fun. Do people ignore you because you hate talking to people because of the stutter, or are they just mean and antisocial???

[Standingtall]

The truest words spoken for many a long day Happy7117. Many people disagree with some of your posts, and you disagree with many of their posts, but as you said in one of your posts, we all respect that difference of opinion, and get on well with each other regardless.
I was only asking where you are from because you have a unique turn of phrase with your use of words.

And Nate, looks like you're learning how to keep the peace like we all need to!
I enjoy reading Happy7117 posts, he has a different style than the rest of us. There is no doudt there is respect on this forum. This is a true international forum, imgaine if we were allowed to rule the world.

[happy7117]

I enjoy reading Happy7117 posts, he has a different style than the rest of us. There is no doudt there is respect on this forum. This is a true international forum, imgaine if we were allowed to rule the world.

I enjoy reading Happy7117 posts, he has a different style than the rest of us.

Don't take this in a mean way, but what do you mean that I have a different style from the rest of the posters???

In my opinion, I don't see my way of writing any different than from of the other good posts I read on here!! Not realy different style, but thoughtfull maybe...

I did creative writing back in High School, so that may very well contribute to posting for anyone!!

Also, I think the worse stuttering is for one, the more thoughtfull the posts are, because one is not able to put those thoughts in to spoken words, so it comes out in writings like this....

There is no doudt there is respect on this forum.

I guess there has to be because there has to be rules to follow..I mean are there any official rules to abide by when visiting this forum???

It's no fun visiting a forum where posters curse, and have potty mouths and are mean...forums are not brawls!!!

And sure forums can have disagreements among posters, but that does not mean we should be flaming the one with the disagreements!!

In other words, one should not attack the messenger if he or she do not like the message......

[kestrel]

What are interpersonal skills?? Sorry but I never heard that word before...

And why do you stand in the corner at parties?? That does not sound like a lot of fun. Do people ignore you because you hate talking to people because of the stutter, or are they just mean and antisocial???


Hi, thank you for the question. The following E-mail I received from one Alan Badminton may answer your question(s): :)

Hi All,

Over the months/years, I have previously touched upon the fact that some
people who stutter do not develop good interpersonal skills, because they
tend to remain on the fringes of conversation and social interaction.

I'm currently reading a book that advances the view that 'attractive people'
acquire greater social skills. The following is an extract from the
relevant chapter:

"Since they have long histories of rewarding relationships, they develop
social skills that, in themselves, attract people around them. Studies show
that attractive people have better communication skills.(Brehm, 1992) "

Any comments, David? ;-) (or anyone else who may wish to respond)

Kindest regards

Alan

I'll try to find out some more relevant info on the subject if you wish.

[Standingtall]

[QUOTE=happy7117]I enjoy reading Happy7117 posts, he has a different style than the rest of us.

Don't take this in a mean way, but what do you mean that I have a different style from the rest of the posters???

QUOTE]
Heck, Happy, I don't take anything in a wrong way, hit me with a brick and I'll still come back with my tongue hanging out and my tail wagging. Imagine that little happy puppy.

I understand that everybody has their own way of expressing themselves, they may use harsh language and they may not. I have learned not to take it as an personal attack, if I did, I would be one miserable cuss.

To you point. I have always enjoyed reading your posts, because you have a way of writing that makes see what you are thinking. You reason things out and sometimes you even answer your own questions. I hope that answers your question.

[happy7117]

[QUOTE=happy7117]I enjoy reading Happy7117 posts, he has a different style than the rest of us.

Don't take this in a mean way, but what do you mean that I have a different style from the rest of the posters???

QUOTE]
Heck, Happy, I don't take anything in a wrong way, hit me with a brick and I'll still come back with my tongue hanging out and my tail wagging. Imagine that little happy puppy.

I understand that everybody has their own way of expressing themselves, they may use harsh language and they may not. I have learned not to take it as an personal attack, if I did, I would be one miserable cuss.

To you point. I have always enjoyed reading your posts, because you have a way of writing that makes see what you are thinking. You reason things out and sometimes you even answer your own questions. I hope that answers your question.

I guess it's easier to explain something fully in writing or posting like this, than having to stutter it out in person...