Public Speaking Or Making A Speech

[happy7117]

I noticed how many average fluent people are terrified at making speeches in public..they get sweaty palms, or they shake, or forget what to say...But the thing is they do not stutter so why should they be afraid...??
I mean they can talk effortlessly without problems so why should they be terrified of something they take for granted???

I think stutterers should be the ones to be terrified of public speaking because they want to get it out as smooth as possible..and the fact they have trouble speaking would make a stutter terrified to make a speech....

But strangely I bet if a stutterer was fluent, he or she would make a fantastic speech. Better than an average fluent speaker, and captivate an audience because of the ideas pent up not being able to be fluently released...

I mean if a stutterer is all of a sudden fluent, shoudlnt he not be afraid of public speaking because he can get it all out smoothly without worrying about if it will indeed come out right???

Making a speech should not be any more terrifying than talking to a one on one person......

Stutterers are the ones who should be scared if words in a speech will come out smoothly or not...and if the words won't come then they have a reason to have sweaty palms, and turn red.....

I think it's the fact that one is looking at the crowd of faces that terrfies one, but shouldn't that be OK for a average fluent person since words will not be stuttered on...

The stutterer has that fear of stuttering and not geting his point across, and that is what should be terrifying about a speech in public....

[Manzanita]

Actually this is something that i've often wondered.
I often get annoyed at my friends when they fight over who ends up calling for a chinese (inevitably its always me and i stutter the whole way through), or they faff about not wanting to approach guys (again, its normally me that ends up starting conversations, and i often stutter).

I think the difference is that i am used to being laughed at. For them a slight slip of the tongue, or a fumbled sentence would be mortifying (in their eyes..). For me, its a daily occurance.

In a way, I am sometimes grateful for my stutter as it has given me a complete confidence - I have become almost immune to people's reactions and this has filtered through to other aspects of my life.

I used to get annoyed at people who were fluent speakers but 'quiet' or 'shy'. I often felt I'd give anything to be able to speak with the ease they do, but they put it to waste.

But I suppose someone with no legs would be thinking I was wasting the opportunity to go out and run a marathon... It's all a matter of perspective!

[happy7117]

Actually this is something that i've often wondered.
I often get annoyed at my friends when they fight over who ends up calling for a chinese (inevitably its always me and i stutter the whole way through), or they faff about not wanting to approach guys (again, its normally me that ends up starting conversations, and i often stutter).

I think the difference is that i am used to being laughed at. For them a slight slip of the tongue, or a fumbled sentence would be mortifying (in their eyes..). For me, its a daily occurance.

In a way, I am sometimes grateful for my stutter as it has given me a complete confidence - I have become almost immune to people's reactions and this has filtered through to other aspects of my life.

I used to get annoyed at people who were fluent speakers but 'quiet' or 'shy'. I often felt I'd give anything to be able to speak with the ease they do, but they put it to waste.

But I suppose someone with no legs would be thinking I was wasting the opportunity to go out and run a marathon... It's all a matter of perspective!

Equaly good response as my post was!!!! I mean why should a person fight with someone else over a phone call that they can easily make themselves without thinking about it or getting stressed???

That situation would be considered stupid or silly to the average fluent person if two were fighting over something like ordering food via phone because either of them COULD do it, and they are fighting over WHO makes the call...

But if that phone call involved a nasty stutter with a few other fluent ones, that fight could seem ugly to a stutterer because they are fighting over who makes the call while the stutterer dreads if he had to make that call...

If the fluent people were arguring over who gets to order chinese, one of them would make the call and then laugh it off saying it was a stupid argument....

But the stuttering person would feel terrible knowing that the phone call turned out horrible because of the stutter, and that laughing it off would make it worse!!

Also I often wonder about the strong silent types too sometimes that are averagely fluent with no stutter problem....They choose to stay quiet around others when they are perfectly fluent..they have the freedom of fluent easy speech so why not use it as much as possible...they have a choice to be quiet around others!!

For stutterers, being quiet around others is realy not a choice at all, but a way to hide the embarrasment of stuttering...it's not that we are shy or naturaly quiet around others!! But we are bursting with things to say but are afraid to say it cause we don't want to stutter...so we stay quiet....!!!

And one time I was at my counselers asking him about stuttering when my Dad came in to relate an experience he had when ordering something at McDonalds before taking me to this counselers. He was not sure what he wanted, and sort of stuttered on his order for like 3 seconds because he was not sure what he wanted..and after he stuttered he shared a laugh with the cashier saying "sorry about that, that felt stupid", and was then on his way!!!

Anyway my Dad was relaying this story he had to the counseler sitting next me, and inside I was so mad thinking, "Yeah sure I bet it was funny for 3 seconds, but imagine doing that every single flipping day in, day out, for any amount of time being in every situation not voluntarily, and being ridiculed??"

After the appointment, I told my Dad, "Remember Dad when you told Terry (my counseler) when you went to McD's to order the burger before you picked me up to got to counseling"? He said , "Yes I do."

I said, "I remember you telling Terry you sort of stuttered on your order...he said "yes I did because i was not sure what I wanted.."

I said, "well I bet you would not be laughing if that same situation happened every day 24 /7 repeadly in all situations with much worse conditons instead of a 3 second stumble you had at McDonalds"...

He said, "Well thankfully, it does not happen every single day!!! It was funny because it was embarrasing!!"

What I wanted to say next would have made him want to deck me because a son saying something mean to a father is something to be decked for...!!!

What I wanted to say would have hurt his feeling and made him mad, so I kept it to myself..thinking "be gratefull you were embarrased for that one time, and that you thought of it as humuorus, because for me, it's a daily mockery""

Sorry my response is so long, but your post was spot on to my original post, so it needed good answers which I might forget if I don't type all out!!

[kestrel]

Hi there all,
A very interesting thread indeed. I have not thought about public speaking in that way, & why the average member of the "Fluent Set" would have heart palpitations, hot flushes, sweaty palms, nervous breakdowns etc; all because he, or she had to do what comes naturally to them."SPEAK"!
In August 2005, I joined the Manukau Club of Toastmasters Int. I have completed my first 4 speeches & preparing for my 5th, as well as doing a number of speaking jobs around the club. My last assignment was running the table topics segment of our meeting. My last couple of speaking assignments have been a piece of cake. No one, even a P.W.S, would even pick up I have a mod-severe stutter. I would rather address an audience than speak 1/1. the same goes for using the phone & a R.T. It is going to be interesting when I can visit other clubs & give a speech & if I can enjoy the same level of fluency that I am enjoying now. I have the horrible feeling that I'm in for a major relapse.
Having said that, there are still areas; eg, mixing & mingling, that needs work.

[happy7117]

Well good luck on the remaining speeches..and post how you do. A great book to read which I have not read is called "How To Conquer Your Fears Of Speaking Before People", and I belive it has a section near the end dealing with stuttering!!