Relationships

[SarahMei]

What will you do if a guy dumps you, and started talking behind your back to your close friends, trying to turn them against you? And at the same time acts all sorry and tries to get you back ?

Ok, this happened, is happening to me. And it sucks. Now my friends think I'm a for not taking him back when he 'loves me so much'. But truth is, he dumped me first.

I dont know. I'm in a weird place right now. Very confused. Guys and girls with experience, please advise. I'm all emo right now. Gah!!!!!

=(

[opher7]

I'm definitely not the ultimate arbiter of sound relationship advice, but thought I'd chime in and let you know that someone is here at least. It seems like at this time your main concern should be centered around honestly and openly communicating with your friends--I would frankly tell them about your experiences and let them know that you are being perfectly straight with them. Once they know the details, not only will they side with you, but then in turn think your ex is a liar for deceiving them and altering the story. I haven't read many of your posts, but it seems like you are a really nice and caring person--and that is only on the Internet. I'm sure your friends love you and cherish their friendship with you, and if they are truly your friends, will appreciate your side of things and offer an open ear. I know that as an intelligent person the last thing you want in your life is drama, so I think that sitting down with your friends and giving them the scoop on things can help rectify the situation and bring a bit of sanity back into your life. I know it's a blow to breakup with someone, muchness if stuff like this ensues, but just remember to not get rattled, keep a clear head, and be confident--don't doubt or get down on yourself, you know you're right! Have a good day, I hope you feel better!

[Dianne]

Are you sure that those so called 'close friends' are indeed that!I am sorry but if they believe his version of things maybe you need to find some new friends who will be there for you and not turn their backs on you.People who backstab are just not worth worrying about so-get the truth out there and then if they still won't believe you I think as hard as it is you are better off with out those sorts of so-called '.friends'

[SarahMei]

Opher7 & Dianne, thanks a bunch =)

Yea I couldnt believe my so-called close friends thought that of me. It really hurt to know that they've changed their perception of me because of what somebody told them. Seems like our friendship was so brittle that it could be broken by a few malicious words. I've tried to explain things to them, they're more sympathetic now actually.

I've decided to let things be. I've just ended college and I wont be seeing most of them anytime soon because we'll all be going our seperate ways, seperate universities. Confrontations aren't my thing.

But it just hurts thats all.

Thanks for hearing me out. Anybody wanna add to that are welcomed.

Luvya all.

[Dianne]

Hey so-o-o glad that you are over the traumas associated with relationship break-up's and that you can see clearly what happened and why-people can be and are fickle and we just have to be confident in ourselves and in our convictions,and hey we are always here for you!Cheers and all the best with the rest of the year!

[Igby]

You shouldn't have to justify your relationship choices to your friends. Your friends should support you not judge you. You should never be in a relationship because someone else thinks you should be. If two people break up, its usually for a good reason. These friends need the level of maturity to understand not only what friendships are really about but also was relationships are really about. From the sounds of things you sound like you are intelligent enough to know when to move away from a relationship and if need be a friendship.