asking girls out

[Derek181]

iam not a teenager though hahah

[Host of Chaos]

askin gilrs out is touhg cos i fink that half the time we ecxpect to be told no anyways.how can we tellif the girl likesus if were in a pub or club?i alwys tryn b friends first n then move onto mr luva man second.

[Jonathanw]

Hey mate.

okay first of all, DONT try to make her be your friend! cause if your first friends, then your chance of getting romantic with her is close to 0!

Now when asking a girl out, how u do it? you say hello and then ask her out? now thats a bad move, cause u got no attraction there, your just a random dude coming up and asking her out. The only reason she would accept in such a way, would be if u had loads of cofidence combined with nice looks (you dont need looks for getting girls tho)
The basics is; atraction, make her feel something for you, why are u any different than most other guys?

Comfort when shes attracted to you, the next step is getting comfortable, most ppl do the wrong thing, getting comfort, before attraction and then ending up in the "lets just be friend zone" and thats not what u wanna do comfort is like asking questions about what she does, exchanging stories and so on.
DONT ask her out until your into the comfort zone, when shes attracted to u, and comfortable being around you, ask for her number or set up a date.

Seduce this is the last step, show her you mean business, happends here

this is just a quick resume of how to pick up a girl the most basic way, you might wanna develope your own style and way, but remember, attraction, comfort and then seduction. In rare occasions it can be done in a different order but mostly it will either result in you'll never hear from her again, cause shes embarresed what she did, or you'll end up in the lets just be friends zone.

I myself had a great problem with my self confidence cause of my stuttering, but its not gonna go away by its self. Buy some books about self confidence or alpha males (Secrets of the alpha male by carlox xuma, is great!), and other than that, theres no magic pill, only hard works pay off. Try to go out every night for 1-2 hours, use maximum 15 min on each girl and that will mean atleast 4 and max around 10 girls you meet every night. Most of them in the start will be crash and burns, and u might get laughs and all, but i promise you, if u do this for 2 weeks you'll improve 100 times more than you have done your whole life.
Just ask yourself, how many girls did u approach, lets say this last year? by meeting 10 girls every day, your will have approaced around 300 every month (!!).

I the begining i got rejected all the time, when i was sitting outside a club, and i had just been rejected by 10 girls and messed up badly, i felt like crying. But overcome this hard starter fase, and your already way into the game took me around 15-16 days.

The only way to learn, is by doing

Sorry for the long and messy post and my bad english, but your welcome to ask if u want to have anything clarified

[Derek181]

hahah good one man.... i dont have any problems wiht self confidence. it just makes it a whole lot harder being a stutterer. but you have a good point... just go out and talk to like 10 girls a day and you will crash and burn at first but it will get better.... thats soo true.... so how do you usually approach them

[Jonathanw]

exactly. and its funny cause its actually quiet logical, if u wanna be good at something, you gotta keep doing it over and over again :P

Anyhow you can pretty much use anything as openers, but you might wanna use an opinion opener the first couple of weeks cause this guarantees you atleast more than a "yes/no answer".
A nice and simple one could be like;
"hey, do u know a nice cafe/Club nearby?"
when she answers you can just ask a couple of more questions about some specific questions, like do they have good burgers/good jazz music whatever.
Then try to strike up a conversation from that point.
Dont stay to long on one subject in the begining, cause if u circle around the opener for too long the conversation will die.
"i was really looking for a jazz place or something.. i just love that music, cant get enough of it.. what kindda music are you into?"

In the begining you proberly sound kindda "stiff" when talking and it will feel kindda weird, but try using the same opener and same questions for maybe a week or so, and you'll see how much better you get at it, and it will just come naturally.

btw even tho you feel you have great confidence and all, i still urge you to read the book i sugested in the other post.. its really great and touches alot of subjest about your state of mind, body positures, clothing and so on really great for developing your person

[Jeff99]

what can you say asking out a girl i think is the hardest thing to do. we think the worst we put it off i was like that for years.

story time.

i've like this girl for well months an months we car pool together work together do stuff out of work etc she is gorgeous funny alittle weird an crazy like myself .

i've wanted to ask her out for along time she even started seeing someone esle during this time she always goes 4 blokes that are well "tools" people who treat her bad an she hates it.
last week i was at work she got dumped about 2 months back. i never person started at work last week he didn't know anyone so i made the effort to get to know him etc.

found out he liked bernadette aswell. what was i to do? i like her wanted to ask her out 4 months an months. then i realised i was just being a sook.
i never ask out people i really like etc.

the old say

if you do what you have always done you will get what you have always got.

i would never date her or even know if i could date her unless i asked her. i have we have been on a few dates since now an all is going well.

that new guy simon is a great guy becoming one of my best mates already win win.

the only way to over come fear is to do it.