i wonder what it feels like to not stutter

i've been stuttering for as long as i can remember but in the past year it's gone from mild, to [i guess you can call it] severe. i'm in 11th grade and it really hurts when you try to explain something simple and it takes forever.
the worst scenario is when a teacher puts you on the spot when he calls on you in class and you're not able to get the world out.
stuttering has destroyed my social life. i am not a shy person, but i just don't talk and introduce myself properly to people because i'm scared that i will stutter.

before the end of my junior year in highschool (this year) i want to completely overcome stuttering because it has gotten to a point where i can no longer say a sentence without stuttering and i can't bare to work around it.

how can i cure this burden? i can't stand always thinking "what's gonna happen if somebody asks me something and i can't say it?". i will give anything just to overcome this.

please help me.

[ForeverYoung]

I bet it feels amazing.

[skyblue]

i used to hav da same problem. well still do!

as far as i no, stutterin is not CURABLE. it cud juss b "improved" not totally removed.
so 1st thing to do wud b to NOT try to OVERCOME it. its part of ur life n u need to learn to live wid it.

u c once i was on da bus, n i was thinkin about da old "y meee out of all these ppl?" thing. n den i saw this guy on da street... no handz, no legs, on a wheelchair...

b thankful 4 da thingz u HAVE.

[tobeto]

When somebody ask me anything, i also stutter, this is very disgusting. i am also looking forward for helping

[howeee]

I am almost afraid to answer you, I dont want to say the wrong thing.

But maybe I have some suggestions. First I see you are from New York,,so I know for sure there is stuttering support groups,,and am guessing there is teen stuttering support groups. I think you need to see other stutterers and other stutterers your age. See how they coping with the very things you are going through.

I wish when I was you age,,I would of gone to my teachers in private and tell them what it was like to have to talk in class. Maybe they would have some alternative activities i could of done , instead of cutting class when I had a speech I was supposed to do.

Some stutterers are having some success with medication, maybe you can do the research online and search the archives of these lists and go to your family doctor and try some to see if they work for you. Paxil and others have been mentioned.

There is somthing called acceptance,,that I didnt finally do till i was about 40 years old. Lets say you say to yourself ok I might not ever get over this,,,what if I stutter for the rest of my life,,,what can I do to cope and have the most normal life I can. When I finally did that for myself,,,my stuttering went from severe to mild over a period of time. I wish I would of done that at your age then work to be the best person I could inspite of my stutter.

http://www.nsastutter.org/connect/new-england.htm This is the address for New England area list of Stuttering support meetings.

Let me tell you a little about Stuttering support groups. You dont have to talk,you can just watch, So if you are worried about being put on the spot dont worry. I think its very important you attend one. Its usually all stutterers so you dont have to worry about any pesky fluent speakers lol.

Ok so I hope this helps. Sometime stutterers are afraid to even call the support group. If you wanted I would call for you, and If you are worried about speaking at first,,i could always make sure they know it first and you wouldnt have to speak unless you wanted. Let me know you can email me
howeeee@.com if you would like to call me and talk about it,,,I will send you my phone number after you email me.

(-: howie

[SELDOM]

First off, there is no cure for stuttering, however, there are some techniques which help stutterers speak more fluently through control of breathing (search for "air" flow technique). I've been in your situation in high school and will say it will most likely stay the same or get worse as you move on to college and start working. The only advice I can give to you is practice speaking by yourself and front of others and forgot the negative aspect of it.

Welcome to the forum by the way!

[ATRIANACPA]

Things that have help me are:
a. elongating words
b. not getting self conscious on the breathing
c. strict control of any thoughts or fears. Mind blank
d. using an earplug only in one ear to hear myself internally
e. reading the book 'Self Therapy for the Stutter' by Fraser.

Stuttering is a self concious process triggered by external events or internal negative thoughts that arouse specific responses such as tension of your speech muscles including your stomach, neck, tongue, vocal cords and an overall freezing effect follow by negative thoughts and frustration ending in helplessness and in an urge to give up.

Treating it requires the opposite that triggers it. Meaning that you must be unconscious, spontaneous and when tension arises it needs to be modified with fluency shaping techniques such as easy onsets, elongations, a little rythem, and some inflections to your voice. You need to be patient and focus on saying something even though you know the slow rate will not sound normal. You also have to accept that a disfluency is there and keep going even though a little voice tells you that no body will like you like this. Eventually people do like you to your big surprise.

All these techniques must be done unconsiously or you are prone to failure. Stuttering is no different from the dancer that misses the steps or the gymnast that hesitates and falls on the flip or the girl who stumbles because all eyes are on her or the singer who becomes voiceless once he is on stage or the soldier who relives his bad experiences. Bottom line is to control your thoughts, be persistent and be unconcious and treat failure with little importance. Any annoyances from your part will simply re-enforce it and make it worse.

[grantM]

Yes there is no cure and you should not try to hold off for one.

I know what it is like not to stutter because I started stuttering at the age of 8-9ish. Imagine total speech freedom.

[ptw]

Originally Posted by ForeverYoung

I bet it feels amazing.

Where in NJ?

[ccs90]

Originally Posted by 0000

i've been stuttering for as long as i can remember but in the past year it's gone from mild, to [i guess you can call it] severe. i'm in 11th grade and it really hurts when you try to explain something simple and it takes forever.
the worst scenario is when a teacher puts you on the spot when he calls on you in class and you're not able to get the world out.
stuttering has destroyed my social life. i am not a shy person, but i just don't talk and introduce myself properly to people because i'm scared that i will stutter.

before the end of my junior year in highschool (this year) i want to completely overcome stuttering because it has gotten to a point where i can no longer say a sentence without stuttering and i can't bare to work around it.

how can i cure this burden? i can't stand always thinking "what's gonna happen if somebody asks me something and i can't say it?". i will give anything just to overcome this.

please help me.

I'm new to this site and I cannot believe the stuff everyone has in common........that was me sophomore year......it was horrible. My teacher called on me and I couldn't even say one word, I kept saying "ummmm" but nothing would come out. I remember after that school became so much harder for me......I had to change shirts throughout the day because so much sweat would be coming out of my armpits and I would just be sweating over all even though it was a cold day. Right now I'm a sophmore in college and even when were in group discussions I still start sweating and I start sweating so much that I have to leave the classroom and go to the bathroom to relax.....ugh :/ but my sophomore year was really horrible, I remember seeing one of my crushes laughing at me while I was trying to talk in the middle of the class. I felt so alone and misreable.........and sometimes still do......it hurts so much when I couldn't even express how I'm feeling or even talk to my own parents about it. One time when I came home from school I tried talking to my mom about what was bothering me and I couldn't form the words......completly broke down and started crying........
Good thing I was in wrestling where I could take out my frustration on the mat, but it was extemely hard. Also, I never got the chance to tell this one girl how I truely felt about her(not the one that laughed at me.)
I think the worst part about stuttering is not being able to express yourself or explain yourself for that matter.........
Theirs a lot of help out there......speech pathologists (which didn't help me much, but I could have put more effort towards their teachings and exercises), books, and if you have the money those speecheasy which I still can't afford.
One thing you need to keep in mind is to never give up on yourself even when people around you have. Always keep in mind your goals in life and what you want out of it. I know it's a lonely world for a person who stutters, I can't even coun't the number of times I've wanted to give up and been depressed. Stuttering is only an impediment. One of the definitons of impediment is obstacle: something that hinders progress in some way. It's an obstacle that most people don't have to go throught, but you need to have faith that with hard work, things will get better.

[sircayetuna]

Originally Posted by 0000

i've been stuttering for as long as i can remember but in the past year it's gone from mild, to [i guess you can call it] severe. i'm in 11th grade and it really hurts when you try to explain something simple and it takes forever.
the worst scenario is when a teacher puts you on the spot when he calls on you in class and you're not able to get the world out.
stuttering has destroyed my social life. i am not a shy person, but i just don't talk and introduce myself properly to people because i'm scared that i will stutter.

before the end of my junior year in highschool (this year) i want to completely overcome stuttering because it has gotten to a point where i can no longer say a sentence without stuttering and i can't bare to work around it.

how can i cure this burden? i can't stand always thinking "what's gonna happen if somebody asks me something and i can't say it?". i will give anything just to overcome this.

please help me.

its really a great feeling to not stutter. my stutter just came back recently and i can remember not having it during my younger days. it was amazing, i could read in churches and stand in front to speak. now i even find it hard to answer a teacher, or in my job i find it hard to call someone. its really hard and frustrating. but i guess this is what fate has given us so we just have to bear with it or moreover try to overcome it.

its really hard. speaking is supposed to be such a basic task but for people like us, its a nightmare.

[ForeverYoung]

Originally Posted by ptw

Where in NJ?

Mercer County

[rodnorp]

You will always have a stutter. Dont be ashamed. It's what makes you who you are. You'll find out how special you are. All of us on here are differant. never be ashamed.

[franchise]

I guess it feels great. I stuttered since four, but sometimes I have perfect days. On those days I can speak to my friends with no blocks at all and it feels so good. Sadly it doesn't happen very often

[Dinasaur]

i know exactly what you feel like. im a sophmore...and its hard as it is right now to talk to people...because as you get older it seems like all people do is talk talk talk.
you want to, but you realize that you cant.
the way i've started to think of it recently, is not that i CANT, its just that it'll take a little bit longer.
up until this summer, my speech has been pretty fine.
then when school started i really realized how truly horrible it was. for the first few weeks id come home crying everyday, not being able to accept how all of a sudden, i cant even have small talk with peolpe, i couldnt even talk to my friends!!!! i realized that i couldnt hide my stuttering anymore so eventually,i decided i just had to try to accept it. not as much accept as stop caring.
at first it was REALLY hard. before this, everytime i had a heavy block in front of a few people, i'd get all hot and embarassed on the inside.
now, i stutter in front of people. and i dont feel that anymore.
you just have to establish in yourself that most people WILL listen to you. and most poeple dont really care as much as you think they do.
just for starters, try not talking too much, because if you keep on blocking after every single word...it might get a little frustrating for the other people. im still nowhere near desensization...but, im getting there.
i did a presentation in front of my class on wednesday, and kept on blocking, but for some strange reason, i wasnt embarassed. last year i would have been dying up there, with my legs shaking and mouth dry. its all about how you percieve your stutter.

and if *i* can change my mindset, you can too =) best wishes



also, about the not stuttering thing. i think its best not to think of it like that. i bet peolpe with strong accents also think, "i wonder what it would be like to always know what words to say and how to pronounce them". the point is, you stutter. and i know this seems like a sort of negative view but its not. everyone's born different. everyone talks differently. people ARE different. and instead of thinking about what it would be like NOT to stutter, think about how great it is to not be one of those chatterboxes that takes 2 hours to get to the point of what they want to say...annoying the crap out of people. people who dont talk very much are respected more =b